Ch-Ch-Chain of Hearts: Cranking Up Compassion

Written by Maya Talisman Frost


Can you hear your compassion? It's time to crank it up.

One ofrepparttar most difficult challenges we face in our quest to be compassionate is dealing with conflict. Those we love most tend to berepparttar 111004 ones most likely to engage us in sparring that cutsrepparttar 111005 deepest.

Why do we allow ourselves to use our harshest words and most acid tone of voice withrepparttar 111006 people we love most?

Precisely because we love them most. We're counting on unconditional love. We know we are likely to be forgiven. We feel close enough to let our true ugliness shine. Blindingly.

We wouldn't dream of lashing out at our colleagues at work in this way. That would be way too risky. Instead, we bottle our daily frustration and dump it all over our loved ones when we get home.

Many of my clients struggle with showing compassion for their partners, children and parents when they are feeling stressed. Instead of relaxing into affection, they respond to requests or confrontation with anger. Most frustrating of all isrepparttar 111007 fact that, while they are lashing out, they recognize that they are alienating those with whom they most want to feel a connection and find comfort. It's as though they are watching themselves lob grenades but are powerless to stop.

One ofrepparttar 111008 best--and easiest to remember--triggers for changing behavior is thinking of a particular song phrase. I teach clients to userepparttar 111009 "ch-ch-chain" part of Aretha Franklin's "Chain of Fools" to kick off a remarkably simple visualization exercise that is very effective in diffusing escalating conflict. It's based on a traditional loving-kindness meditation, but it's a lot more fun!

Add Some Light To Your Life With Candles

Written by Wendy Yeager


Candles first served asrepparttar main source of light for early civilization. They have made many changes throughrepparttar 111003 years. The candles of today are notrepparttar 111004 same candles from hundreds of years ago.

Beforerepparttar 111005 introduction of wicks, early Egyptians lit their reed torches by soaking them in molten tallow, which is fat from sheep or cattle. Romans later developed wick candles which they dipped intorepparttar 111006 tallow.

Byrepparttar 111007 Middle Ages, beeswax was being used inrepparttar 111008 making of some candles. The candles burned cleaner than tallow and had a more pleasant odor thanrepparttar 111009 tallow candles. However, they were more costly and onlyrepparttar 111010 wealthy could afford them.

In Colonial times,repparttar 111011 settlers found they could boil berries fromrepparttar 111012 bayberry bush to make a sweet smelling and clean burning wax for their candles. Unfortunately, it was tedious work and it took many berries to make just one candle.

Byrepparttar 111013 18th century, candles were being made from spermaceti, a wax which was crystallized sperm whale oil. These candles had an even better odor and would not bend and soften in warm weather.

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