Humor: Can You or Can’t You

Can You or Can’t You

Written by Timothy Whitt

There are a lot of people out there who for one reason or another really can’t so something. This article is not about you so don’t be offended. This article is about all repparttar

other people who for one reason or another say they can’t do something, when what they really should be saying is that they won’t do something. Now I don’t want you to be offended either, I am merely pointing out that we should mean what we say and do what we say we can’t but know in our hearts that we could if we tried.

Sound a little confusing? Well it is confusing to me why in our society there are a lot of reasons why we can’t but very little results when we could. We can always come up with a lot of reasons why something did not work when we should be trying to get repparttar 138600 results of what we are trying to do in repparttar 138601 first place. By repparttar 138602 time your mind comes up with an excuse you could have been making a break through or completing a task. In fact it takes more effort to think of a reason why won’t do something then to actually do it repparttar 138603 first place.

Case in point you are asked to take out repparttar 138604 garbage, now you stand there for 10 minutes arguing with repparttar 138605 other person trying to get you point across why you can’t do it, when you know in your heart you just really don’t want to do it. Now you know if you had just taken out repparttar 138606 trash in repparttar 138607 first place you would have saved yourself 7 or 8 minutes of time, which you could have used to do something else.

THE TYRANNY OF BLACKBERRIES, CELLPHONES & LAPTOPS

Written by Theolonius McTavish

Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005.

THE TYRANNY OF BLACKBERRIES, CELLPHONES & LAPTOPS --Or, when will repparttar God of Chaos, Calamity & Cataclysm strike again! --

Everywhere you go these days, chaos reigns disguised as “state of repparttar 137714 art wireless technology”. It seems that happiness has been reduced to having a newfangled whatchamacallit that does absolutely everything but clean repparttar 137715 kitchen sink.

Speaking of scruffy sculleries, your best bet would be to a visit your local "Tabernacle of Tetrachloride" and request a private audience with repparttar 137716 "Wizard of Washbasins". Failing that, consult "The Diva of Drudgery" living next door for quick answers to repparttar 137717 western world's biggest household conundrums!

Sadly, my days as a professional cherry-picker in Peach Bottom, Virginia are over ...which brings me in a round about way to my favorite comfort food ..."passion fruit" and plums. Besides consuming far too many succulent seeds for my own good, I also enjoy repparttar 137718 occasional shopping-spree for trendy “fruit of repparttar 137719 loom” drawers in repparttar 137720 "Big Apple". And frankly, that doesn’t leave me much spare time to pursue happiness unless you count such delightful diversions such as a fruitless game of tiddlywinks or a toe-wrestling tournament in repparttar 137721 "Old Country".

As for those backlit, "Bluetooth" byters euphemistically called “BlackBerries”, they do not impress me in repparttar 137722 least. For one thing these "robust" packages of tutti-fruit technology are worth a king's ransom. And for another, hanging them on your lapel makes you look like a dork, or worse yet a loon. So, unless you enjoy low-impact digital workouts with your thumb and index finger…take my humble advice, be a dweeb and forget about them!

Celluar telephones, repparttar 137723 smallest of these dastardly digital devices, are a melodious menace to mankind. Besides making their owners look divinely self-important in a world of wannabes and winners, they also lurk surruptitiously about in repparttar 137724 bottom of pockets, packsacks, and purses offering melodrama at its best for bystanders. Needless to say, anything that vibrates, sings, and is capable of snapping photos when you least expect should never be operated by anyone who's never been properly potty-trained.

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