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Title: CAN YOU CONTROL IT? Author: Dave Turo-Shields, ACSW, LCSW Email: mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org copyright: by Dave Turo-Shields, ACSW, LCSW Web Address: http://www.Overcoming-Depression.com Word Count: 823 Category: Self-Help
CAN YOU CONTROL IT?
A tremendous amount of stress occurs when you don't understand and accept your limitations. When you attempt to control something in life that is not within your sphere of influence how do you feel and react? What is it like for you to experience powerlessness?
Can you control another's thoughts, behaviors and attitudes? Are you able to make it rain or snow? Can you make a family or friend's cancer go away? It may be easier to consider these questions from a detached perspective and say to yourself, "No, I certainly cannot control these areas." However, it's surprising how much of life folks struggle over which is not within their control. More often than not, you are not aware that you're lack of peace has to do with controlling or worrying about something outside of your grasp.
Independence worldwide is growing stronger, and what a fine attribute to claim for yourself. Yet, as in many of ways people and nations grow, pendulum often swings too far. Nowadays it's considered a character flaw if you cannot control everything. Ever look at a parent and their child in public and think, "Boy, I sure wish she'd get control of HER child!" How much control can or should a mother have over a 6 year old child?
There are many organizations, beliefs and traditions to draw from when seeking help in this area of your life. A powerfully wise tradition is 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. To not be an alcoholic makes you fortunate, however, I hope you've been lucky enough to discover wisdom of 12 Steps. And for our discussion, first step in particular. Let me list it for you here...
We admitted we were powerless over [alcohol] -- that our lives had become unmanageable.
I put word "alcohol" in brackets because you may place anything in that bracket you'd like to. In fact, my invitation is for you to test it out with a few of more nagging things in your life -- how about depression, anxiety, marital concerns, parenting issues, clutter, chronic pain...?
Attempting to control a thing in your life that is not yours to control will effectively make that, and other parts of your life, unmanageable. If you but ADMIT POWERLESSNESS in a heartfelt manner, much can be different for you. Here's catch though... If you admit powerlessness you may judge yourself as a failure or someone else may do it for you. It takes tremendous courage and humility to admit when something is out of your control.