Title: CAN YOU CONTROL IT? Author: Dave Turo-Shields, ACSW, LCSW Email: mailto:editor@overcoming-depression.com copyright: by Dave Turo-Shields, ACSW, LCSW Web Address: http://www.Overcoming-Depression.com Word Count: 823 Category: Self-Help

CAN YOU CONTROL IT?

A tremendous amount of stress occurs when you don't understand and accept your limitations. When you attempt to control something in life that is not within your sphere of influence how do you feel and react? What is it like for you to experience powerlessness?

Can you control another's thoughts, behaviors and attitudes? Are you able to make it rain or snow? Can you make a family or friend's cancer go away? It may be easier to consider these questions from a detached perspective and say to yourself, "No, I certainly cannot control these areas." However, it's surprising how much of life folks struggle over which is not within their control. More often than not, you are not aware that you're lack of peace has to do with controlling or worrying about something outside of your grasp.

Independence worldwide is growing stronger, and what a fine attribute to claim for yourself. Yet, as in many of ways people and nations grow, pendulum often swings too far. Nowadays it's considered a character flaw if you cannot control everything. Ever look at a parent and their child in public and think, "Boy, I sure wish she'd get control of HER child!" How much control can or should a mother have over a 6 year old child?

There are many organizations, beliefs and traditions to draw from when seeking help in this area of your life. A powerfully wise tradition is 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. To not be an alcoholic makes you fortunate, however, I hope you've been lucky enough to discover wisdom of 12 Steps. And for our discussion, first step in particular. Let me list it for you here...

We admitted we were powerless over [alcohol] -- that our lives had become unmanageable.

I put word "alcohol" in brackets because you may place anything in that bracket you'd like to. In fact, my invitation is for you to test it out with a few of more nagging things in your life -- how about depression, anxiety, marital concerns, parenting issues, clutter, chronic pain...?

Isn't it peculiar how human nature evolves through environmental and socialogical conditions? It is evident that we, as Human beings, tend to characterize our capabilities, strengths and emotional intelligence through bonds of society. As we encounter diverse walks of life we have a bizarre and acute tendency to create new personalities. Through human nature, we unintentionally become one with our counterparts. One can travel East to West, North to South and eventually evolution of mind and soul takes its natural course.

Although differences exist, we enable ourselves to find common bonds of life in general. In doing so, we can interrelate with each other and attain goals that apart, are seemingly impossible. In doing so, great undertakings are initiated. We revolutionize our world through interaction and coexistence.

Even most minute action creates an affect. In human nature, we attract those that mirror ourselves in small ways. By relating to past and present circumstances, we shape our world of tomorrow. Like clay, we mold ourselves to structures that be. Perhaps chameleons display best sense of human nature as they cleverly and instantaneously blend with their surroundings. Not only is this an excellent manuever to avoid danger, it is also a profound way to "fit in" and become one with its immediate environment.