The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as
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end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated.Title -Valentine Moments With Your Children Author - Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail- mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright- © 2004 by Margaret Paul Web Address -http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 812 Category: Parenting
VALENTINE MOMENTS WITH YOUR CHILDREN By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
One of
things I loved doing as a child was making very fancy and creative valentines for my parents. I would spend hours designing and building wonderful cards with little poems in them. The only problem was that, while my mother would receive her card graciously, she never received it with her heart. She would smile and tell me how lovely it was, but I never felt her love coming back to me. My mother did not know how to open her heart, how to smile at me with love and cherishing in her eyes. My father would never even notice his card.
I wanted to connect with my parents, to share love with them, to know their hearts, but their hearts were hidden. Sadly, my mother died last year at
age of 85 without ever being able to truly share her heart with me. My father is 91 and his heart has always been closed.
Your children need to feel your heart and soul. They need you to take
time to stop what you are doing and just be with them. They need you to really see them – to see who they are beneath their outward ways of being.
One of
greatest gifts we can give to our children is to see their essence, their true Self, their individual expression of Spirit within them. When children are deeply seen and valued by their parents, they learn to see and value themselves. All children need this profound mirroring from their parents to feel intrinsically lovable and worthy.
The problem is that we cannot see
souls of our children and embrace their intrinsic worth unless we see our own intrinsic worth. If you suffer from core shame - if you feel intrinsically unworthy, unlovable, not good enough, unimportant, or inadequate - then you cannot energetically communicate to your children their inherent worth. Your own feelings of unworthiness will be projected upon them, no matter how loving you try to be with them. You can let them know in many ways how wonderful they are, but when they energetically pick up your core shame, they will either integrate that shame into their own beings, or move into
opposite direction, believing that they are superior to you, which can cause entitlement issues.