Written by Rev. James L. Snyder

The traditional fowl of choice of ministers is usually thought to be chicken. This foul thought, however, is a terrible fallacy.

Nobody would argue, at least for long, that we have sacrificed millions of chickens throughrepparttar years atrepparttar 118118 altar of Christian ministry. Who would think of invitingrepparttar 118119 parson to supper without serving chicken?

Personally, I have had chicken served to me every way imaginable. A few times, I must admit, some hosts cookedrepparttar 118120 fowl of ministerial choice torepparttar 118121 point of non-recognition.

I break no wishbones over this. I have learned to take what I get and ask no questions. The trouble with asking is, somebody always feels obligated to answer. Some things I do not want to know, such as: What is that, doingrepparttar 118122 breaststroke, inrepparttar 118123 gravy?

As a minister, I have consumed my fair share ofrepparttar 118124 fine-feathered fowl in all of its glory. The truth is, chickens are notrepparttar 118125 only fowl of consumption withinrepparttar 118126 scope of ministerial experience.

But, those who have spent any time inrepparttar 118127 sacred ministry know that one bird outranksrepparttar 118128 lowly chicken. That special fowl is Corvus brachyrhynchos. That's right;repparttar 118129 common crow.

Believe me, there is nothing common about this bird except that it is plentiful. The successful minister soon discovers and mastersrepparttar 118130 fine art of eating crow. And this is really something to crow about.

Onrepparttar 118131 surface,repparttar 118132 crow does not look like much, but that's justrepparttar 118133 surface. Under all those feathers is a large, chunky, ebony bird. I should know; I've been eating crow for more than 30 wonderful years.

I must admit, it did take some adjusting on my part. Crow cuisine is an acquired taste n a minister acquires it from his parishioners. There is nothing called "Eating Crow 101" in any seminary in our country n but there should be. It isrepparttar 118134 most important aspect ofrepparttar 118135 Christian ministry.

I learned thisrepparttar 118136 hard way.

The lesson was brought home to me inrepparttar 118137 early days of my pastoral ministry. It began quite innocently, as all things this important do. In my first parish, I found myself walking downrepparttar 118138 main street. This, in itself, is astounding. Many people spend years trying to find themselves. Fortunately for me, I did not have to look very hard.

Those early ministry days can be quite precarious. Anything can happen and never forrepparttar 118139 good.

Onrepparttar 118140 other side ofrepparttar 118141 street, I spied a young chap I recognized from my church. Standing onrepparttar 118142 porch of a large white house, he struggled to reachrepparttar 118143 doorbell. A small lad, he had to jump and still he could not reachrepparttar 118144 doorbell. (There is a reason doorbells are placed so that small boys cannot reach them, but atrepparttar 118145 time ofrepparttar 118146 incident, I did not know these things.)

Inrepparttar 118147 spirit of benevolence, I decided to help my fellow man. Or, at least a little chap, not yet a man.


Written by Victoria Elizabeth


-- Collected, compiled and cranked out by "The Quipping Queen" for your amusement and delight --

Asrepparttar ho ho ho season rolls around, one is reminded of some very wicked words from a few wise men, a smattering of witty women, and a handful of weird wee folk who wish to remain anonymous.

"A Merry Christmas to all my friends except two." (W.C. Fields)

"I am a poor man, but I would gladly give ten shillings to find out who sent merepparttar 118117 insulting Christmas card I received this morning." (George and Weedon Grossmith, The Diary of a Nobody, 1894)

"Christmas, that time to of year when people descend intorepparttar 118118 bunker ofrepparttar 118119 family." (Byron Rogers, Daily Telegraph, 27 December 1993)

"There are some people who want to throw their arms round you simply because it is Christmas; there are other people who want to strangle you simply because it is Christmas." (Robert Lynd, “On Christmas," in The Book of This and That, 1915)

"Ever since Eve gave Adamrepparttar 118120 apple, there has been a misunderstanding betweenrepparttar 118121 sexes about gifts." (Nan Robertson, "On Christmas shopping", New York Times, 28 November 1957)

"George, a camel, stepped onrepparttar 118122 foot of a Rockette; six sheep came offrepparttar 118123 elevator as three kings bearing gifts got on; human Christmas trees bumped into eight maids-a-milking atrepparttar 118124 water cooler and an elf came down withrepparttar 118125 flu." (William E. Geist, onrepparttar 118126 day “pandemonium paid a visit backstage” at opening of Radio City Music Hall’s Christmas spectacular. New York Times, 29 November 1986)

"As if being eighty-five or ninety and terrified and talked down to loudly and pushed around in wheelchairs byrepparttar 118127 staff all day weren’t bad enough, for tonight’s entertainmentrepparttar 118128 local Brownies have come to sing Christmas carols....". (Mary Jo Salter, “Brownie Troop #722 Visitsrepparttar 118129 Nursing Home,” 1994)

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