It’s like that cartoon of girl saying, “Oh, I knew I forgot something. My career!” Well, in this case, we become aware that someone, somewhere along line forgot to tell us how to be smart about our emotions. At least in words we could understand!

But then again are you or are you not “smart” about your emotions? You see we don’t even know how to assess how we are with our emotions. It simply hasn’t been talked about it ways that makes sense and would allow us to use information we receive.

If someone says, “You’re too reactive,” what does that mean? In relation to what or to whom? And aren’t they usually talking more about themselves? Usually they mean “You’re more reactive than I am” or “You’re more reactive than I’d like you to be.” They may be kind of person who could have a firecracker go off next to them and not “react,” but what does that mean in relation to their ability to function and relate? Not much!

And then next day you’ll have a pounding headache, or have been up all night with baby, and fail to respond immediately to a comment someone makes and they’ll say, “Why don’t you respond? You just sit there.”

One standard would certainly be how well things are going for you at work and at home, because our EQ is more important to our happiness, success and health than our IQ.

POSITIVE FEEDBACK LOOP

The people I’ve worked with in Emotional Intelligence take to it immediately. There are immediate applications to their life they try, and results are positive, so there’s an excellent and immediate feedback loop that keeps you motivated and improving.

One of best things about it is that you learn tools, and then applications are all around you. No matter what situation you’re in, or what circumstance, increasing your Emotional Intelligence skills will help. You’ll become more aware of what’s going on around you – things you couldn’t quit “grasp” before. You’ll also become far more knowledgeable about what’s going on with other people, and isn’t that always most difficult thing to figure out?

COMPETENCY EXAMPLE

Here’s is an example. One of Emotional Intelligence competencies is emotional expression. It’s important to understand that 90% or more of any person’s emotional expression takes place nonverbally. That means – ta da – you need to increase your skills in being able to notice and INTERPRET nonverbal behavior. This means expression on person’s face, how they sit, how they walk, their tone of voice, their silences, and other important “cues” as to how they’re feeling.

Why is this important? They may be telling you how they think, but how they feel is what’s going to influence what action they take, whether they buy product, whether they hire you, or whether they marry you.

AT-WORK APPLICATION