There is a war between sexes. This war is based on a misunderstanding. The misunderstanding is this:
Women think that men think like women. Men think that women think like men.
A woman does this:
Prepares a meal of food she likes - bitter, lean, salady, light, and expects her date to like it; Borrows a romantic DVD, with plenty of crying; Wears a scent *she* likes; Dresses to please her mainly female colleagues; Keeps company with women, and acts in solidarity with them; Trades secrets with other women, and feels empowered by so doing; Has deep and wide-ranging feelings; Is concerned with feelings of those around her; Abhors dirt and disorder; Rages and cries at smallest thing, once a month; Words mean whatever she's feeling at time;
A man does this:
Not too fussed about food - likes heavy, sweet, stodgy grub; Borrows an action or comic DVD, with no sob-stuff; A quick wash under armpits and we're good to go; Dresses to intimidate other men; Happily keeps company with men, women, criminals, a dog, anything, as long as it doesn't talk too much; Trades mock punches, slaps on back, cruel jokes, and has a good laugh; One mood, all time; Is not too bothered about other people's feelings, unless he's done something *really* bad; Secretly enjoys living in his own filth; Last cried a few years ago, and did it in private; Words mean as dictionary defines them;
Now, how can these two distinct creatures ever get together?
Simple. Each has to start thinking like other, just a little bit. Each has to research other's fantasy world, and reflect it back to object of desire.
A good source of research is magazine rack in your local supermarket. Men should look at womens' magazines, and vice-versa. Men will discover that women fantasise about men who are:
Pretty-boys; Slim; Muscular (like a swimmer, not a weight-lifter); Fashionably dressed; Patrician; Tight-fitting trousers; Attentive; Wealthy; Powerful; Confident; Popular; Makes her laugh; Takes charge; Can discuss his feelings occasionally; Yet isn't a wet dish-cloth;
Women will discover that men fantasise about:
(Sorry, I couldn't resist that.)
Men fantasise about women who are:
Pretty; Good size bust; Exotic (foreign); Flirtatious; Tight-fitting top; A hint of underclothing 'accidentally' revealed; Just might be a bit 'naughty'; Laughs at his jokes; Has a strong personality (extrovert, introvert, doesn't matter);