Building the Bond in your Relationship

Written by Alina Ruigrok -

A bond (relationship wise) is when two people have a connection. Being attracted to each other and sharing common values and interests broughtrepparttar two of you together as a couple, butrepparttar 126268 bond has not been set completely. Besidesrepparttar 126269 fact that you have love and care between you, you also need to see whether or notrepparttar 126270 two of you are friends. Is it possible to be friends? Absolutely! As a matter of fact, it is a must ifrepparttar 126271 two of you are going to build a lasting bond.

Having a strong longing and passion for another is important, but is not enough fuel to keeprepparttar 126272 bond running. With friendship, your relationship will remain having that strength under all kinds of circumstances. There will be times, for example, when you as a couple are not living in your most passionate times. This is natural and does not mean there is no longer love or desire. As your relationship deepens, you will go through many experiences and stages that may put your romance and frequent hot sex aside for a while. This is where friendship comes in and why it is so important. You should be there for each other and understand your partnerís situations and concerns. Just take a look at your friends. See what makes your friendship with them so great. You then need to see if your partner has those same similarities or exact (sticking up for you when you needrepparttar 126273 back up for instance) qualities. Another point to keep in mind is keeping yourself aware of what behavior you would not except from a friend. You should definitely not accept those behaviors from your mate (like standing you up allrepparttar 126274 time) either.

It is not easy to put our friends and lovers inrepparttar 126275 same comparison because we are in love with our partners, and therefore will be more patient with them than we would with our friends. You can easily blind yourself due torepparttar 126276 love you feel for that person and not even realize when he or she is not being a good friend and partner to you. How can you tell? A true friendship is basicallyrepparttar 126277 same asrepparttar 126278 true qualities that define real love. The difference is, we are in love and have a deep desire for our mates, with commitment and a goal of building a future, and perhaps even getting married and making a family together. The list below will help you see if your lover is a friend to you as well.

1.You can talk to and confide in each other about anything. 2.Your partner is there for you when you need to talk to someone. 3.Being able to always rely on each other when one is counted on. 4.Having a permanent shoulder to cry on when we need it 5.Having many things in common 6.Accepting one another for who we are 7.Listening to us and considering our opinions important

Do not feel guilty for having higher expectations from your lover either. People often feel like they should be more lenient and understanding when it comes to their lovers. Even though it is important to keep an understanding attitude (to avoid misunderstandings and arguments), you should never let things always slide or make up excuses for your partnerís wrong doings. You should expect better and not except such behavior. You deserve better. After all, you invest most of your emotions and time into your partner, so always remember that you are entitled to receiverepparttar 126279 same.

If You Want Them To Hear You, Speak Their Language!

Written by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD


You've probably noticed that there are some problems with our communication system. We have to use words. They are often imprecise, awkward and unable to capturerepparttar essence of what we want to say.

Problem #1. Words mean different things to different folks. Even when we find what we consider to be adequate words,repparttar 126267 listener hears something else.

Problem #2. It is difficult to capture feelings in words. And, equally difficult to remove feelings from words. What a conundrum.

Problem #3. Listeners may not be listening. There's a big difference between listening and hearing: onlyrepparttar 126268 former engagesrepparttar 126269 mind. Many folks begin formulating their response after you sayrepparttar 126270 first ten words.

Problem #4. The listener's prior experiences color your words for them. You are not alone. They are hearing every person who has ever spoken to them in your way or with your words as you speak. Therefore, they decide where to place their attention and what their focus will be.

Problem #5. And, we wonder why communication is difficult? It's enough to make you close your mouth forever!

Now, aside from those five problems, there are other considerations. Here are some simple and significant ways to increase your chances of being accurately heard and, hopefully, listened to. Considerrepparttar 126271 following questions:

1. Do you know what is important to your listener? Are they more interested in facts or feelings? Demonstrate your desire to communicate with them by leading with what is of greater interest to them.

2. Do you know if your listener is more interested inrepparttar 126272 details orrepparttar 126273 decision? Some folks are more comfortable with assessing and planning solutions than with making decisions and implementing them. To whom are you speaking? It is difficult to get a "decide and do" attitude from an "assess and solve" person. Similarly, it is more difficult to engage an "assessor" in a decision making conversation. They will usually want to keep perfecting their plan. Acknowledge this and affirm their skill before asking them to decide.

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