Building a Good Relationship

Written by Richard J. Krejcir

In building a genuine God centered relationship, you must be genuine, and focused. If you truly desire to follow God’s precepts, and not those of society, you must be willing and able to cast offrepparttar “games” that people play in relationships. There must be no hiding behind made up masks, and false identities. Get rid ofrepparttar 122073 fixation on pleasure, andrepparttar 122074 viewpoints from glamour magazines and TV shows. You must seek Biblical precepts; rather than how you feel or are told by friends. This means a Christian relationship will be built on and with honesty, and communication, in order to be real and authentic. These translate into genuine relationships that are flowing from a life that has been transformed by grace, and renewed by Christ, as Lord of your life.

In order to accomplish this task, you must seek to know yourself andrepparttar 122075 other person. If you are not honest about yourself, how can you expect to have a good relationship? The same applies to seeking honestly fromrepparttar 122076 person you are courting. You have to be honest about who you are, that is, knowing your personality, aspirations, and desires, and working on your relationship with Christ. You also have to be honest about what you plan to do and be in life. Then, you can seek that in others, and honestly assess how you feel about them and about what they do and say. The way to do this is to have open, honest communication, be willing and able to askrepparttar 122077 tough question of yourself and your date. The hiding is then eliminated, and a real relationship is built! Open communication is a vital foundation for every marriage, necessary in order to understand and help each other. Without it, you cannot see what is truly motivatingrepparttar 122078 other or what their ideas and intentions are. When you have differing points of view--and you will--be willing to talk and listen. Simply by listening, 99.9% ofrepparttar 122079 problems will be resolved. When you have this settled before marriage, you will be light-years ahead ofrepparttar 122080 game. If you are already married, then you can use these principles to figure out what you need to work on in yourself, as well as in your relationship with God and others.

We can be honest even in our Western dating culture. Yes, most people-- Christians included--tend to stick torepparttar 122081 shallow end ofrepparttar 122082 communication pool. We spend time asking about favorite movies, hobbies, whether and such, sorepparttar 122083 most important questions, such as our struggles, vulnerabilities, and insecurities, are not addressed.

Once you are honest, then you can explore love. If you do not take care of honesty, your love will not be honest. You will be in love with an idea and not a person. You will be building a false relationship, not a real one!

We will not be perfect, as we will make mistakes, but we haverepparttar 122084 grace of God who makes up for our shortfalls. So, let God work in you. Be honest with Christ as your Lord, and be willing to learn, giving Him your fears and insecurities. Be willing to improve yourself before seeking a relationship. You cannot expect others to change and grow if you do not. If you are not willing to improverepparttar 122085 ‘you’ before trying to get who is right for you or to improve your spouse, you will just cause upheaval and disorder in your self andrepparttar 122086 person you are with! You are not to seek someone to fill a hole that they cannot fill. Be accountable to and ask questions of someone who will always listen to you. By doing these precepts fromrepparttar 122087 Word, you will better prepare yourself for God’s best, which is in your best interest, too!

Oh, byrepparttar 122088 way, do not even think, consider, or attempt to do missionary dating (date someone who does not sharerepparttar 122089 same faith and theology as you). After over 20 years of being a pastor to singles, I have never seen this work. I have never heard of this working! It only leads to distress and strife, especially when children come in torepparttar 122090 picture!

Here are two essential attitudes to have if you are serious about following God’s precepts in relationships:

1. An attitude of Fellowship: Fellowship, (koinonia) isrepparttar 122091 Christian catchphrase for getting together. Perhaps it is overused and underused. We overuse it to describe anything from hanging out to having communion, then we under use it by not takingrepparttar 122092 reality and depth of its meaning to heart! Biblical fellowship is a partnership of relationships and resources that contains good communication, cooperation, and mutual beneficiation. The powerful Holy Spirit is our true partner inrepparttar 122093 Church. This is true because of what Christ has done for us.

2. An attitude of real Intimacy: The Church has taught for centuries that sex was for procreation only and there are still Christian groups proclaiming this. However, this is not whatrepparttar 122094 Bible teaches. Sex was created by God to populate (Genesis 1:28), to expresses unity (Genesis 2:24), to know your mate (Genesis 4:1), to express love (Genesis 24:67), to meet each other’s needs (Genesis 24:67; Deuteronomy 24:5; 1 Peter 3:7), to play (Proverbs 5:19; Song of S. 2:8-17; 4:1-16; Ecclesiastes 9:9), and to prevent sin (1 Corinthians 7:2-5). Intimacy also includes our being available to our spouse (1 Corinthians 7:3-5), and showing him or her our undivided interest as an expression of love (Song 4:16; 5:2).

How do you know if you are “In Love?”

According torepparttar 122095 world’s standards, and that of many Christians, being attracted to another is our first consideration in dating or courting. However, is this right or Biblical? No! Yet, we often judge another person by our attraction to them or their attraction to us before we venture into a relationship. However, remember Prov 31: 30. Good looks, magnetism, beauty, being pretty, even charm, are vain, ineffective in building a relationship, and are not lasting. Love finds its roots inrepparttar 122096 deeper end ofrepparttar 122097 pool where maturity in our relationship with Christ dwells, where He is Lord and from where our trust andrepparttar 122098 model of all of our relations originate.

Now, Keep in mind that there may be someone you may not have thought of, who may be right for you! I am always amazed in single groups in church how so many of them do not even look at each other as their ideal mate because desire is blinding their search. Thus,repparttar 122099 only thing fueling their search is vanity, andrepparttar 122100 perfect one may be sitting right next to them! So, look up, and look around beyond your limited set of parameters!

Love begins, real love, that is, when you have a firm grasp on what we have talked about so far. It happens whenrepparttar 122101 presumptions and games are out ofrepparttar 122102 way, when open communication is happening, and when both of you are growing inrepparttar 122103 faith. If you are meant for one another, then love will come. Love cannot be forced, manipulated, conjured up, or pretended to be real. You can try to force love for a while, but it would be like teaching a dog to walk on its two hind legs. It will be able to do it for a little while, but not very long, and not very well! You have to let Love happen as stipulated in 1 Corinthians 13.

What does it mean to love someone? How do I know if I am “in love?” How do I really know if my potential mate loves me? It has often been said in Christian circles that "love is a choice," but what kind of choice is it? When do we make that choice, and what if it isrepparttar 122104 wrong choice?

Children and Divorce

Written by Karen Zastudil

You and your spouse have decided to end your marriage. Although this has been a difficult decision for you and your spouse, it can be a very complicated one for your children. Divorce in many ways is like facing a death inrepparttar family, and a grieving process takes place for everyone involved. Often times after a divorce, you need to rediscover who you are, overcome your own fears and determine how to begin making a new life for you and your children. Oncerepparttar 122072 grieving process has taken place, don't assume things will suddenly go smoothly -- especially when you start dating again. It may be hard for your children to adjust torepparttar 122073 "new you" and patience is key. The process of adapting may take longer than what you would like and your children's emotions may be like a roller coaster ride. You have spent years parenting your children and devoting your life to them. Now that you are focusing more time on yourself, your children may become disheartened and insecure. It's extremely important that at this time you strive to attain a balance in your life and enter this new phase of your life gradually. Your children will need you more than ever for support, comfort and reassurance. Many times children become unsure of themselves and aren't sure where they fit into your life, but rest assured that eventually they will come around.

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