Do you want to put to rest people and situations from your past so they do not interfere with your current and future relationships?
I bet you said yes. Who doesn't have something in their past they want to put to rest? Then let's talk about what action steps you can take to create absence of past -- or completion -- in your life.
Below are a series of action steps. You'll want to pick a few and repeat them until you are complete with various people and circumstances from your past.
The time it takes to get to genuine completion will vary from person to person and situation to situation. For some it can come quickly. But sometimes completion happens over time: we may have to forgive, let go, or communicate to people in stages over a period of time.
Here are 10 action steps to put to rest people and situations from your past. Use these action steps on list of incompletions you created from last week's article.
1. Write Letters Write letters to person or people to whom you feel resentful, hurt, or still attached. Freely say everything you want to say and write as many letters as necessary to feel complete, each time going deeper inside to express your full emotions. Do not send these letters, but instead do something with them that leads you to feel you are getting rid of feelings. Flush letters down toilet, burn them, bury them, etc.
2. Tell Your Story Tell your story over and over to a trusted friend, advisor, or your journal. Make sure neither you nor person listening edit or judge what you say or write, give advice, or make comments to dispute your feelings. Your job is to communicate and be listened to attentively.
3. Talk to Right Person Talk to person with whom you have incompletion. Do this only if you are sure person will be able to listen to you in same way as in Step 2 above. If you do have this conversation, make sure not to blame or be rude, but talk about your feelings and consequences in your life. If you have opportunity, have as many conversations as you need to get complete.
4. Imagine Talking to Right Person If conversation in Step 3 above is not feasible, have this conversation in your imagination. Give conversation as much time and undivided attention as you would give a real conversation. This works best as a closed eye meditation/visualization.
5. Role Play Ask a trusted friend to role-play incomplete situation with you or imagine being back in situation. Use this opportunity to say what you wish you had said. Repeat role play again, but this time have other person act in a way that would have avoided causing incompletion. Repeat process over time until you feel complete.