Breaking Your Relationship Pattern, Part 2

Written by Rinatta Paries

The first step toward being able to attract and create your ideal relationship is to clearrepparttar way for it by eliminating baggage from your past. This baggage refers to any resentments, hurts, or fears you have toward anyone who either was a role model or who participated directly in a relationship with you.

Lots of people carry such baggage for a long time, some even for a lifetime. The sooner you can truly let go of this baggage,repparttar 101836 less likely you are to recreate bad situations in current and future relationships.

Dropping this baggage is what I call "getting complete."

How do you get complete? Completion is not a sense or an emotion or even a state of being, but a process. This means there are steps and practical actions that will get you to completion. What stands between you and having a great relationship is acting on these steps.

Atrepparttar 101837 most basic level, completion is an exercise in communication. Imagine you could finally say everything you needed to say to everyone you needed to say it to, no holds barred. Wouldn't that give you a great sense of relief and freedom? In essence, getting complete is getting to communicate everything to everyone, without spending your life looking for everyone from your past or having to deal with less-than-receptive people.

Once you are complete with a situation,repparttar 101838 next time you face a similar situation you will be free to choose your actions rather than being run by fear, pain, anger, etc. You may flash back torepparttar 101839 old situation, but you will not react based on it. You will no longer have anything but a minute negative emotional response when looking back on hurtful situations. Forrepparttar 101840 majority ofrepparttar 101841 time, you will feel genuine forgiveness toward others and yourself.

Breaking Your Relationship Pattern, Part 3

Written by Rinatta Paries

Do you want to put to restrepparttar people and situations from your past so they do not interfere with your current and future relationships?

I bet you said yes. Who doesn't have something in their past they want to put to rest? Then let's talk about what action steps you can take to createrepparttar 101835 absence of past -- or completion -- in your life.

Below are a series of action steps. You'll want to pick a few and repeat them until you are complete with various people and circumstances from your past.

The time it takes to get to genuine completion will vary from person to person and situation to situation. For some it can come quickly. But sometimes completion happens over time: we may have to forgive, let go, or communicate to people in stages over a period of time.

Here are 10 action steps to put to restrepparttar 101836 people and situations from your past. Use these action steps onrepparttar 101837 list of incompletions you created from last week's article.

1. Write Letters Write letters torepparttar 101838 person or people to whom you feel resentful, hurt, or still attached. Freely say everything you want to say and write as many letters as necessary to feel complete, each time going deeper inside to express your full emotions. Do not send these letters, but instead do something with them that leads you to feel you are getting rid ofrepparttar 101839 feelings. Flushrepparttar 101840 letters downrepparttar 101841 toilet, burn them, bury them, etc.

2. Tell Your Story Tell your story over and over to a trusted friend, advisor, or your journal. Make sure neither you norrepparttar 101842 person listening edit or judge what you say or write, give advice, or make comments to dispute your feelings. Your job is to communicate and be listened to attentively.

3. Talk torepparttar 101843 Right Person Talk torepparttar 101844 person with whom you haverepparttar 101845 incompletion. Do this only if you are surerepparttar 101846 person will be able to listen to you inrepparttar 101847 same way as in Step 2 above. If you do have this conversation, make sure not to blame or be rude, but talk about your feelings andrepparttar 101848 consequences in your life. If you haverepparttar 101849 opportunity, have as many conversations as you need to get complete.

4. Imagine Talking torepparttar 101850 Right Person Ifrepparttar 101851 conversation in Step 3 above is not feasible, have this conversation in your imagination. Giverepparttar 101852 conversation as much time and undivided attention as you would give a real conversation. This works best as a closed eye meditation/visualization.

5. Role Play Ask a trusted friend to role-playrepparttar 101853 incomplete situation with you or imagine being back inrepparttar 101854 situation. Use this opportunity to say what you wish you had said. Repeatrepparttar 101855 role play again, but this time haverepparttar 101856 other person act in a way that would have avoided causingrepparttar 101857 incompletion. Repeatrepparttar 101858 process over time until you feel complete.

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