Not all you learned about relationships came from your parents; your learning has continued throughout your life. But what you saw your parents do in relationships, how you interpreted what you saw, and how you felt about it, is foundation of your adult relationships.

That's not to say that your parents were wrong or bad parents, or even that they had a bad relationship. The only thing that can be said is if intimate relationships are problematic for you, source is inevitably your foundational learning.

If a great relationship, a great partner, is what you are after, you must see, understand, and deconstruct your foundational learning about relationships. To take apart a foundation of something is a delicate thing. Imagine trying to remove or change foundation of a house while leaving rest of house standing intact. Not an easy task. But in order to have a great relationship, you need to reconstruct your foundational learning while leaving you intact.

As a recovering procrastinator I have a great deal of experience with To Do lists. I've embellished them with multi-color highlighters, experimented with assorted list-making software, anything to keep from actually doing tasks. Along way I've learned a few tricks you may find helpful.

Make List Don't just let have-tos rattle around in your head making you crazy. Actually write down all things you're worried about getting done. Then you won't have to spend energy constantly remembering them. I like to start with one main list of everything on my mind in no particular order and then make subsequent lists. Another way is to use sticky notes. You can organize them into categories afterwards. Then I see that Rake Leaves, Move Lawn Furniture, Winterize Garden, and Do Yard Work all go together and aren't really four different things.

Prioritize Ask yourself is it really essential? Is it something you want to do? Is result something you want? Does somebody else think you should do it? If that person is government, your doctor, or your boss it should probably stay on hot list. But if not, consider setting it aside for now. You could end up with lists called Must, Would Be Nice, and Who Cares. Sometimes act of placing an item on one list or another helps you determine its importance. Anything left on Who Cares list at end of this process gets crumpled up and tossed.