6 Secrets to Happiness By: Lynne E Kaska
Have you ever thought that you could have more, be more and do more? Have you ever wondered what it would take to really have a successful life? What if you could have life of your dreams?
Happiness is just within your reach. Itís just on other side of gnawing fear. Itís just on other side of that self-defeating game that you keep on playing. The question is how do we get ďthereĒ from ďhere.Ē The question is what do you have to do?
The first secret to happiness that I have found is in identifying what makes you truly happy. Itís a difficult task to do especially if you really do this from your heart, not what your head tells you. I discovered when I went through this process that things that I want are not like what anyone else wants for me. I had to discover what I want and let go of old ideas and pleasing other people. For me, happiness means that I walk down sidewalk with my head held high because I know that I am right with God or a Higher Being. Happiness means that Iím not held back by all garbage in my past. Happiness is feeling like I have a purpose and living my life with passion and vibrancy.
What is it that you really want in life? Do you want a stronger relationship with your spouse/partner? Do you want a more fulfilling career? Do you want to be able to sleep at night without any chatter in your head? Is your true desire to just want to get out of bed in morning and embrace day for what it is? Do you want to have a strong faith and put aside all fear and live life to fullest?
Well, if you fall into any of these categories, then I encourage you to keep reading. We all want to be happy. But what separates men from boys and women from girls is willingness to do work. In my own experience, I found that when I get into enough pain, Iím willing to go to any length to quit feeling way I was feeling. Are you willing to go on a journey? Are you willing to trust a process that is rewarding?
The next step to achieving happiness is to identify what is not working in your life. I have found that there are several self-defeating games that I play, playing victim, get them before they get me, being a problem, using drugs/alcohol/food, not showing up, and lying. Which of these games do you use and how? Write a paragraph on three times that youíve used a self-defeating game. Write about how it worked for you, what it cost you, etcÖ.
Another key step to creating a life of happiness is power of choice. So many times in my life, I didnít think that I had a choice, but I really did. Particularly abuse survivors think that they donít have a choice in their situation. They are controlled by fear, but truth is that if they were willing to step outside of their comfort zone and what seems normal to them, there are ways that they can get out of their situation. As a survivor myself, I had to learn that even though things that happened to me were not my fault, I did however continue to place myself in a position to be harmed. And I did make choice to stay in situation however painful it was for me. There are hundreds of agencies out there today that are designed specifically for women in these situations. Making healthy choices for ourselves gives us an amazing feeling of empowerment. It is something that is indescribable.