Blessings In A Mother's Tears

Written by Monique Rider

As a mother, my intuition told me that something just wasn’t right. Most doctors blew off my concerns about my daughter, Deborah. They saidrepparttar behavior problems were just “terrible twos” or “extra family stress” from my divorce. I knew fromrepparttar 131103 time of my pregnancy that something was different. Evenrepparttar 131104 labor and delivery was unusual. Byrepparttar 131105 age of two Deborah was displaying explosive behavior, head banging, screaming duringrepparttar 131106 night and kicking walls. Her first psychiatric evaluation was atrepparttar 131107 age of 2 ½ and came back “normal”.

As Deborah got olderrepparttar 131108 behavior continued but was somewhat manageable, with very creative parenting techniques and close monitoring. By third grade she was diagnosed with ADHD and medicated. This helped somewhat but I still sensed that something wasn’t right. A second opinion showed four additional diagnoses of OCD, ODD, depression and anxiety. Additional medication was helpful forrepparttar 131109 behavior but there were always side effects. School was becoming a challenge. Grades were inconsistent and Deborah continued to show no interest. Things seemed to hold steady for a few years.

Then, August 2000,repparttar 131110 situation took a turn forrepparttar 131111 worst. Deborah, then 14 years old, was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. Also known as manic depression, this mental illness is characterized by drastic mood swings. The bipolar, along withrepparttar 131112 other disorders completely changed my daughter into someone that, at times, I hardly knew. When we were first told ofrepparttar 131113 diagnosis, I was somewhat relieved that there was a reason forrepparttar 131114 extreme and bizarre behavior we were witnessing. However, my life became an emotional rollercoster.

As a mother, I immediately felt that if I tried hard enough I could “save” my daughter from this awful illness. I figured that if I tried hard enough I could “fix” everything so that her life would be “normal” and she wouldn’t have to suffer. Most of what I was doing had been very good for myself andrepparttar 131115 rest of my family. However, Deborah was in denial and wouldn’t accept any ofrepparttar 131116 help that I offered her. That wasrepparttar 131117 painful part because as a mother, I wanted to reach out and protect her.

I began a crusade of educating myself, joining parent advocacy groups, going to conferences, reading books, collecting information, networking with other parents, networking withrepparttar 131118 school, and going to counseling. I immediately went on Family Medical Leave from work and began working a reduced schedule so that I could closely monitor Deborah until she was stabilized. I still feel that all of these things were very positive. However, I tried to push all of this on my daughter and expected her to react positively to my assistance. She didn’t, she felt controlled and smothered and lashed out even more. This was so painful for me because I wanted so desperately to protect her. I slowly realized that Deborah must want to be helped – nothing could be pushed on her.

"Men in Tights......and garters"

Written by Wonderbra Girl

Sitting comfortably againstrepparttar cushioned interior of my seat, I listened asrepparttar 131101 conversation about my friend's cousin passed over my ears. However, when he started talking about her idea's forrepparttar 131102 fashion world. "She's decided that if she's going to break intorepparttar 131103 fashion industry, she's gotta have a niche. She's got two already. The first is lingerie for men-" "What?"repparttar 131104 voice fromrepparttar 131105 back ofrepparttar 131106 car said, expressing allrepparttar 131107 surprise in my head.

"Lingerie for men- she thinks men should have lingerie too."

"Um. I'd have to agree-"repparttar 131108 voice said, "I would want my man to wear lingerie..."

Lingerie for men. Humm, let me think. Yes, yes, O.K.. There is no way I would want my guy wearing lingerie. Joe Boxers, of course. Silk, even. But lingerie,repparttar 131109 word itself implies femininity. Especially because I have a soft spot for men who work out, I think "The Game" in a pink baby doll with white ruffles. For some, that might do it. But, somehow, that just doesn't work for me.

Though I'm sure she's got something different in mind, I think she'll lose a majority of this gender oriented society inrepparttar 131110 sales pitch.

Of course, all for social change. I suppose I could see how having a man in linger could be, empowering. Lettingrepparttar 131111 man look his best, settingrepparttar 131112 mood. Still, somehow, withrepparttar 131113 gender roles so affixed in my head, I can't see desiring to see a man in much of anything, remotely..."nightly fashionable", beyond silk pajamas.

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