Birth of a Baby, Birth of a ParentWritten by Barbara Eastom Bates
So you’re pregnant? Congratulations! Your life is about to change in ways you might find unthinkable (and we’re not even talking about surrender of your once slim waistline to proportions most comparable to that of a Dr. Suess character). Pregnancy is beginning of a new life for a baby, but also a new life for you as a parent. If this is your first baby, you may be filled with an endless list of questions and concerns. If you’re a veteran of labor and delivery room, you’ve got a better idea of what to expect, yet every pregnancy, like every mother and child, is different. Making Choices While pregnancy and birth have physiologically been same since beginning of time, your options as a pregnant woman today are greater than at any previous time in history. After confirming your pregnancy, your first (and arguably most important) decision to be made is choice of caregiver. While traditionally in U.S., maternal care has been provided through obstetrical physicians and hospital births, there is a growing movement towards return to low intervention, midwife-assisted births. How do you know which is right for you? Consider what is most important to your birth experience (always remembering that birth is anything but predictable and flexibility is vital). Are you interested in birthing naturally, without aid of drugs or invasive procedures? Would you rather give birth at home or in a birthing center as opposed to a hospital? A midwife may be right choice for you. Conversely, if you know up front you’ll want an epidural at first sign of labor pain you’ll probably find anesthesiologist at your local hospital to be your best friend. Keep in mind, each choice has its pros and cons and it’s up to you to weigh which option is best for your needs. If you give birth at home and have complications, you’ll need to be transported to hospital. Epidurals may provide excellent pain relief (or not), but have potentially serious, although rare, side effects. Some birthing centers will not accept a mother attempting vaginal birth after caesarean section (VBAC). Being an educated consumer in your pregnancy will allow best possible birth experience and beginning for your new baby. Planning for Baby Somewhere around middle to late pregnancy (usually about time you can no longer see your toes because of your protruding middle), you’ll want to start making accommodations at home for your babies expected arrival. If this is your first, trust yourself to care of an experienced mommy friend who can prevent “New Mother Shopping Syndrome,” i.e., going to Babies ‘R Us and spending an exorbitant amount of money on baby paraphernalia that, not only do you not need, but you will never use. Yes, mommy bear that emits sounds of womb is cute. No, your baby will not be fooled. This is time to cultivate self control, which will particularly come in handy when your precious baby has become a 16-year old who has just wrecked family car. Babies actually need very little in way of gear for first few months of life. If you’re planning to family bed, you can skip nursery furniture altogether. Some good choices of useful items include a five-point harness infant car seat, a quality hospital grade breast pump if you’re planning to breastfeed (Medela is gold star standard), and plenty of Onesies for sleep and play. A baby sling is also useful for helping mom get things done around house while still meeting babies need to be held, and also for discreet public breastfeeding. Skip infant carrier, which can only be used for about six months, at which point you’ll have to purchase a regular car seat anyway. Also unnecessary are baby toys, gyms, etc., which will not be of interest to infant until they are at least six months.
| | If your child is being bullied - 20 top tips for parentsWritten by Derek Randel
Keith is now in fourth grade and he dislikes school. For a fourth grader, this does not sound right. The reason Keith dislikes school though does not have anything to do with academics. Keith is being bullied before school, at school, and on school bus. Who can blame him for not wanting to go into that environment? The basic definition of bullying is when someone keeps doing or saying things to have power over another person. Bullying involves crossing into one's space without permission. Isn't bullying just something that happens to all children and we're just making a fuss over this? The children will get over it, right? Shouldn't we tell Keith to grow up and handle it? Wrong. Bullying happens to far too many children and adults shouldn't be ignoring it. WHAT CAN A PARENT DO? If Keith is being bullied and he is not reporting it to his parents then there are some very important questions to address. · Why wouldn't he tell his parents? · What message have Keith's parents sent to him about bullies? · Does Keith's parents have a history of dismissing what he says? · Possibly Keith's parents have had a habit of getting too involved in solving his problems. Tips for parents: · Encourage your child to report any bullying incidents to you. · Validate your child's feelings. It is normal for your child to feel hurt, sad, and angry. · Ask your child how he/she has tried to stop bullying. Asking questions is a wonderful way to have your child do thinking. · Ask how is he/she going to solve this. We want child to do thinking before we jump in. See how many options he can come up with. · Coach your child in alternatives. Ideally best solution is having your child solve this without anyone interfering. Most of time unfortunately, this isn't possible. Share these strategies: avoidance is often an excellent
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