Beware of Thick Ankled Women!

Written by Ed Williams

Itís funnyrepparttar kinds of things that you remember sometimes. Just a little while ago I began smiling because I was thinking about something my mother told me many years ago. I was a teenager atrepparttar 105580 time, and I think that I was dating several girls instead of just dating my steady girlfriend. My mother, for some inexplicable reason, was not too crazy about that, so she gave me a lecture about how I was going to lose her. She went on and on and on about it, and I finally grumbled back some sort of response, which prompted her to look at me and say something that I still remember to this day. She said,

ďSon, beware of city women that smell too good, country women that act too good, and old women with fast hands.Ē

Pretty profound, huh? I thought so, too. Funny thing, though, since then Iíve learned a little more about life, and have picked up on something rather interesting. She was one hundred percent right about watching out forrepparttar 105581 smelly city women,repparttar 105582 too good country women, and she was very, very right aboutrepparttar 105583 fast handed old women, but Iíve discovered that itís not these type women that men need to watch out forrepparttar 105584 most. In my experience,repparttar 105585 women that you need to watch out forrepparttar 105586 most, in fact,repparttar 105587 women that you need to give a very wide berth to, is those women with thick ankles.

Thatís right, women with thick ankles. I mean, think about it for a second, women with thick ankles need to be given plenty of space. Ed Jr. whole heartedly agrees. When I asked him about this, he told me that women with big ankles naturally have bad dispositions. He said that they really have no choice, if you think about it. When I asked him why, he said that whenever big ankled women lay down that their ankles rub together. ďAnd son, over time, they build up calluses, so it has to hurt, and it would right smart affect a personís disposition. Think about it, a personís ankles clunking together over and over and over again. Imagine how it would affect it a person after years of it. Theyíd end up being one mean, easy to rile up, parentheses legged person. When it gets down to it, I donít think Iíve ever seen a woman with thick ankles whoĎs been in a good mood.Ē

You Can Only Be A True Georgian If...

Written by Ed Williams

You know how to getrepparttar juice out of a honeysuckle.

You get excited each and every timerepparttar 105579 Falcons makerepparttar 105580 playoffs, and you never get excited whenrepparttar 105581 Braves dorepparttar 105582 exact same thing.

You cussrepparttar 105583 drive up to Atlanta, but you enjoy yourself after you get there.

You realize that people have different speaking accents inrepparttar 105584 West, Northwest, Northeast, and Middle America, and that all of them are weird compared torepparttar 105585 right one, ours.

A tear comes to your eye every time you hear Ray Charles singing, ďGeorgia On My Mind,ď or when you hear Elvis singing ďAn American TrilogyĒ duringrepparttar 105586 Stone Mountain Park Laser Show.

You hate eitherrepparttar 105587 Yellow Jackets or Bulldogs part ofrepparttar 105588 time, but haterepparttar 105589 Notre Dame Fighting Irish,repparttar 105590 Penn State Nittany Lions,repparttar 105591 Ohio State Buckeyes,repparttar 105592 Michigan Wolverines, and any other large northern football playing university all ofrepparttar 105593 time.

You think that one of those t-shirts dyed with red mud is truly a time saving idea.

You often wonder why anyone would be crazy enough to live someplace else, especially anywhere north ofrepparttar 105594 Mason-Dixon Line.

You still hold a car door open for a lady, and you still pay for her dinner when you take her out, no matter how little of her entree she actually ends up eating.

You know exactly what a brim is.

You understand that Dave Barry is a good writer, but that Lewis Grizzard was a great writer.

You remember what drink boxes and hoop cheese were.

You smile and act like you really do want to go up to Six Flags and ride all those roller coasters...

Youíre convinced that Super Bowl Sunday ought to be a national holiday.

You smile anytime you hearrepparttar 105595 words Tybee, St. Simons, or Jekyll. And letís not even mention Sea Island...

You appreciate our state DOT department just as soon as you drive from Georgia into either Alabama, Florida, or South Carolina.

You understand why itís fun to step on a maypop.

You knowrepparttar 105596 difference between boiled peanuts made from green peanuts and boiled peanuts made from just plain peanuts.

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