“Dear Columnist,

Recently word ‘butt’ was used in one of your columns. That word is inappropriate, in poor taste, crude, and offensive. The fact that it is used on tv does not change a thing. I appreciate your being able and interested in writing and would like for it to be above reproach.

Best to you.

Ward Cleaver”

She wants to know what I think of it, and what would be most appropriate way to respond.

As I sit here pondering her request, full range of potential responses seems to be these:

1. The immature response. This is one you’d go with if you fired back an immediate, gut check-like response. You’d tell guy that he should find some “Barney” reruns to spend his time watching and then imply that he must be a real firecracker in most other aspects of his personal life. You’d then close it out with a reminder that this is a free country and that he was free (and encouraged) to read something other than your column in future.

2. The sarcastic approach. Tell reader that you’ll try to do better in future, and that slip up in column is easily explainable. Then, go into how you and your friends went out drinking night before, entered a “Who Can Cuss The Best” contest at a local bar, and that carry over from that slipped into your column when you wrote it next day. Promise your reader that it’ll never happen again, as you definitely want to live your life “above reproach,” and then swear to watch twenty episodes of “The Brady Bunch” as penance.

1. Actively Watch Movie – Yes, I recognize that movie watching is a passive activity. Watching a movie isn’t something you do, it is something that happens to you. However, if you want to write good reviews you have to learn to look at movies with a critical eye. This means you need to pay attention to everything and I mean Everything. Notice how actors are placed in each shot, setting, camera angles, even music. All of these elements play a role in story that is trying to be told and are important to talk about if you want to write compelling sort of reviews that your readers will stop by your site each week to read. .

2. Take Copious Notes – No, I don’t expect you to sit in a theatre with pen and pad or laptop in hand. But I do expect you to take solid mental notes. Information such as actor’s names or who director was is easy to come across, but information like camera shots, or plot devices is not, so you need to train yourself not only to watch for that type of information but also to remember it.