DEFINITIONSCaring - Being concerned about outcomes; paying just enough attention but not too much; to feel trouble or anxiety; to feel interest or concern. To overlook
progress of others and projects, but to have faith and confidence in other people to look after themselves and do things well enough.
Caring too much - Being too concerned about outcomes; paying too much attention; feeling too troubled or anxious; feeling overly concerned; not believing other people are competent and capable. Hovering over them and transmitting your anxiety to them so they become dysfunctional.
COMPARISONS
Supervising a project vs. Hovering over person
Being concerned about someone and interested in outcome vs. Worrying anxiously over someone and trying to take over.
Managing vs. Controlling
Transmitting emotions of confidence and self-assurance v. Transmitting fear, worry and anxiety
EXAMPLE
Alice cared about outcome of project and made herself available to team for input and supervision. She had high emotional intelligence and was flexible and creative in planning and outcomes. She delegated easily and well. Because of this, team worked well, and had stamina to finish in style with plenty of energy left over for next project. Everyone enjoyed working with Alice because she brought out best in them and they built their self-esteem by completing successful projects.
Harry was overly concerned about project. He was critical and demanding of himself and others and had low emotional intelligence. He could not be satisfied with less than perfection and drove himself and others. He hovered over everyone which destroyed their self-confidence, confused them, and pulled their focus away from work. His worry caused them to worry and undermined their self-confidence. As “primal leader,” he transmitted his anxiety to others. Every team and project he drove this way became cynical, insecure, exhausted and burnt out. No one wanted to work with him or under him, and best people would transfer out of his department. Eventually he was fired.
