If you're one of many who find it difficult to assert themselves following might be of assistance. Remember, you don't exist on this planet to be someone's doormat.

1. Don't avoid expressing your negative or critical feelings. They are not bad or improper, they are just your feelings and you are entitled to them.

2. Feelings aren't facts. They are just feelings.

3. Use "I" Language to indicate that feelings you are expressing are yours. You are not accusing or judging anyone.

4. You don't have to justify your feelings, you only need to state them.

You know, there is a story in one of my very favorite books that I mentioned a couple of issues back. (For those of you who missed my list of favorite books and would like to have it, just visit archives at http://www.elfexpressionsezine.com)

In "Riches Within Your Reach," Robert Collier tells about a certain woman who had lost her job through no fault of her own. A widow, she was sole support of her three children and herself, and try as she might, she'd found it impossible to obtain gainful employment. She was nearing end of her rope, her money was about to run out, and landlord was threatening eviction.

One day as she set out to look for a job, she happened to stop by a magazine stand, and her eye was caught by a title about "treasure-mapping" for success and supply. She was led to buy magazine, but instead of looking for work that day, she went home (something totally illogical, which we'll talk about another time) and devoured entire magazine —that attracting article in particular.

Then she dug out a bunch of old papers and set to work to put together a treasure map—so many things came to her mind to put on it—first, little cottage at edge of town, then little dress shop she'd always longed for, then a car—and in that cottage would be a piano for girls—and a yard in back where she could grow flowers— she worked all day and cut pictures and words and sentences out of papers and magazines—all connected with idea of success and abundance.