Through segments on evening news, magazines, talk shows, radio programming and even advice of family and friends, we are consistently subjected to a whole litany of goals that anyone with half a brain should strive for. If we were to listen to all experts, we would all need to be perfectly fit and rich individuals with at least two college majors under our belt.

Baloney.

Now I won't deny that there are tremendous benefits to being physically fit, financially well off or highly educated, but let's be honest here – one doesn't require all of above to live a successful and happy life. There are many somewhat overweight individuals that are quite happy to escape annoyances of careful food selection and exercise and instead focus on earning money or spending time with family. By same token, there are many physically fit individuals that see no need to bring in extraordinary levels of income to be happy; they would just as well get by with what they need to live.

I firmly believe all of us should constantly strive to improve ourselves, but there is no single blueprint that we should all follow. What might be important to me (business and management) might not be important to you, and vice versa. For this reason, when you are determining which goals you would like to pursue you should always block out wishes of others and select goals that are dear to your heart.

This sounds incredibly selfish, but obviously I'm not advocating adopting a goal that would hurt others, and ideally in a committed relationship you and your significant other would share common goals. But when push comes to shove, if you choose a goal for someone else rather than yourself you will do yourself a huge disservice.

I remarked that it was lovely that she was always such uplifting company.

"Oh,I wasn't always like this", she replied. "It all changed when my dad died, when I was about forty."

"Was he that bad?" I asked her.

"On contray," she told me "he was wonderful." However, just before he died he made a confession:

"Darling, I have ruined my life with worry. And not one thing I've worried about has ever happened! Don't let same thing happen to you!"

Something "clicked" within her. And she kicked her worry habit from then on!

If you need something to 'click' to stop you worrying I hope following helps:

Often when a worry 'pops in' normal reaction is to try and solve it. This is fine if there is something tangible that can be done right now. However, many worries are either entirely imaginary, or a small 'problem' is blown out of all proportion.

So what happens is that you try to 'solve' what doesn't exist. The more you try and solve it worse 'problem' gets.

A wise old woman once said to me "Why are you worrying what you're going to say to so and so a week on Monday? You'll be there' you'll know!"

Lets take an imaginary, but common, example: