Fear is one thing. Helpless anxiety is another. Fear brings up your defenses, makes you ready to fight—to take on aggressor and win. Helpless anxiety, on other hand, saps every ounce of energy you have because you know that fighting will do no good and nothing you do will make any difference whatsoever anyway. Helpless anxiety wraps around you like a wet blanket. It weighs on you, takes breath right out of you. It’s a horrible place to be in.

That’s where I was—wrapped in helpless anxiety—as I sat in darkened church, feeling empty and alone. My husband sat beside me, holding my hand, but that didn’t seem to help. Nor did it change fact that our baby was six miles away lying in an incubator, fighting for her life. Born three months early, her tiny body was covered in a mass of tubes and wires. Her legs were size of my husband’s finger, and her tiny little hand couldn’t even get all way around my finger.

And I was helpless to do anything to make her better.

Sure, doctors told me I was lucky that I had taken such good care of myself, that because of my good health, she was developed even beyond 25 weeks she should have been. But I didn’t feel like much of a hero. I felt like I had let down this little one who was counting on me. The should-haves and could-haves ran around in my head constantly bumping into one another and tripping over themselves, fighting to remind me of my guilt. That night, as I listened to what was supposed to be an up-lifting service, I didn’t feel very up-lifted. In fact, I felt more depressed than I ever had in my life.

Then soloist began a song from my past. I knew words by heart although I wonder now if I had ever really understood them. I tried to sing, to get words to come out of my mouth, but my heart just hurt too much. So instead of words, tears came as God whispered to me through that song, “Be not afraid. I go before you always. Come follow Me, and I will give you rest.”

Recently I’ve found just such a crystal ball. No, it doesn’t literally allow us to see into future, but it does allow for best decision to be made at every fork in road every single time. What is this crystal ball? Where can you get one?

Well, think for a moment. If I had this crystal ball, what would you be willing to pay for it? Would it be worth ten dollars? A hundred? A thousand? Remember, it will unerringly tell you exactly what is best thing to do every single time. Surely that would be worth a few dollars in a trade.

Now, what would you say if I told you that this crystal ball is monetarily free. That’s right. It costs nothing at all… However, it does require something, and that something is giving up control you think you have over a situation. It means giving up notion that you know what best outcome in a situation is. Here is reality: You don’t. You can’t. You don’t have all of information to know what is best outcome in a situation.

But if you don’t, then who does? One name: God.

Of course, God who is everywhere in all times and all moments knows. Why? Because unlike you, he can see whole picture. He can see every ramification of every possible decision in any given situation that you can make. In short, He can see with perfect clarity choice you should make.

While listening to Bruce Wilkenson’s excellent audio, “A Life God Rewards,” I heard one line that he really doesn’t go on to discuss and expand on. It’s more of a transition line pulling together two other thoughts. However, in that line, I realized a lesson that I had used but hadn’t put words to. He said:

“As only person to come from eternity to earth and then return to eternity, Jesus knows whole truth—past, present, and future—and can give you a one of a kind perspective,” Wilkenson says. “For example, he can see your present from a moment far out in your infinite future and tell you exactly how to prepare for what is to come.”

Wow! What an unbelievably crystal ball that is! Think about it. If Jesus loves you beyond measure and He wants only what is best for you in long run (and that means really long run of eternity), doesn’t it make sense to allow Him to guide your life?