Be Empathetic Not Sympathetic

Written by Steve Davis

Be Empathetic Not Sympathetic Put yourself inrepparttar other’s shoes, but don’t walk their path for them

Isn’t Sympathy a Good Thing?

“Oh you poor thing. What happened to you is just terrible! You must feel awful. I wish there was something I could do.”

Do these words sound familiar? Maybe you’ve used them on a friend or relative who suffered a back break, or perhaps you’ve heard them yourself from a well-meaning friend at a time when something went wrong for you.

Words like these are usually expressed by well-meaning people inrepparttar 126187 form of “sympathy” to someone they care about. But imagine yourself hearing these words right now. How do they make you feel? Loved, cared for, empowered? Or helpless, victimized, and just plain bad?

Though sympathy is a socially acceptible gesture, I suggest that you stop using it and accepting it from others. It doesn’t help you or them. Empathy is a far superior form of expression. Let me explain.

Sympathy or Empathy?

So what’srepparttar 126188 difference between sympathy and empathy? Sympathy, while highly valued in our culture, can actually be very disempowering. The sympathetic perspective tends to place you aboverepparttar 126189 other, placing you in a position that might sound something like, “Oh you poor thing, this is just terrible what’s happening to you.” This behavior on your part will actually enablerepparttar 126190 limited worldview of a person operating from a victim state of mind, and is less likely to help them move to a healthy resolution of their problem.

Onrepparttar 126191 other hand, coming from an empathetic perspective, you understand whatrepparttar 126192 other is feeling but don’t necessarily “go there” with them. Instead, you view them as capable of working throughrepparttar 126193 issue at hand. If you were being empathetic to someone in pain, you might say something like, “I sense that you’re hurting right now. Is there anything you need or any support I can offer to help you through this?”

Counterfeit Love

Written by Joyce C. Lock

Some form ofrepparttar word ‘love’ exists in scripture 543 times and is, conceivably, one ofrepparttar 126186 most abused, excused, and misused words in modern lingo, today.

I love your style. I just loved that show. I loverepparttar 126187 way you fix your hair! I love ice cream. Oh, I love what you've done with this room! I love you in that dress. I love it when you make me laugh.

I LOVE YOU ... unless I get hurt ... just don't ask me to help ... only when my needs come first ... though not if it means listening to you ... barring when I can take credit ... when it's convenient ... if you love me ... as long as you do what I say ... but not your children ... unless you get in my way ... until I think of some good jokes at your expense ... except you put on a few pounds ... omitting when friends are around ... whenever it benefits me.

Let's make love. If you love me, you'll do it. Never mind that I'm sleeping with someone else, it's you I love. You're just stupid - you know I love you.

I love you, but I won't forgive you. I'm sorry for hurting you, again, but you know I love you. I told you once that I love you, that ought to be enough. What do I have to say to make you believe me ... I (bleep, bleep) love you, all right? If I say I love you, then I love you. I can see others and still love you. When you measure up to my expectations, then I'll love you.

Cont'd on page 2 ==> © 2005
Terms of Use