"Bad Boys/Good Boys" -- The Pitfalls Of Being An Insensitive Dad

Written by Lee Wise


Author: Lee Wise Copyright date: 2003 Word count: 1139 w/bio Characters/line: 60

"BAD BOYS/GOOD BOYS" Avoiding The Pitfalls Of Being An Insensitive Dad © Lee Wise 2003 All rights reserved

I WAS AMAZED

I could hardly believe what I was hearing. A father and his son had enteredrepparttar men's room. While I was washing my hands, I listened asrepparttar 111261 father wielded a series of demanding and demeaning statements at his son as if they were swords in a battle for ... who knows what?

And all about going torepparttar 111262 bathroom quickly!

It wasrepparttar 111263 perfect victory. The enemy (the son) had been slain. The battle was won. The general had summoned his one-man army to do his bidding.

It was also totally and completely ridiculous. There was no consideration forrepparttar 111264 feelings or physical needs of repparttar 111265 young person.

The "bad boy" had wonrepparttar 111266 day -- andrepparttar 111267 bad boy was notrepparttar 111268 son.

It wasrepparttar 111269 son's insensitive dad.

I WAS SADDENED AND ANGRY

This incident occurred while on vacation. I loved vacation except for one aspect: watching fathers deal with their children.

I was sad. And I was angry.

The "interesting" thing was that when I related this observation to my daughter and son-in-law, they proceeded to share with me *their* same discouragement while they were on a recent trip to a theme park.

Their message wasrepparttar 111270 same:

"We had a great time. The only discouraging thing was seeing dads with their children."

I AGREE: IT'S NOT EASY

I am a father and I would be amongrepparttar 111271 first to declare that raising children is not an easy task.

Parts of it are rough. Real rough.

I would also be quick to admitrepparttar 111272 times I have failed as a father.

But I do hope that no one has ever said this about me after observing my relationship with either my children or grand- children:

"We sawrepparttar 111273 most discouraging thing today.

This guy was a jerk. The way he treated those kids was awful.

No respect. No honor.

Only demands and unrealistic expectations. I tell ya, it was sad."

WE KNOW THERE IS A BETTER WAY

Let me be quick to add: all is not bad. I have seen many loving, caring fathers throughoutrepparttar 111274 years. I *love* watching those types of dads relate to their children. It is one of my personal delights in life :)

With that in mind, I am offering a few simple suggestions for a better way: a better way for fathers to relate to their children thanrepparttar 111275 two negative examples I have shared with you.

I will center my suggestions on five themes:

1. Consideration 2. Respect 3. Humility 4. Compassion 5. Love

Two comments as I transition into my suggestions:

*You will quickly discover that this will not be a long and drawn out discussion of these themes. Enjoy.

*Many ofrepparttar 111276 points will be shared through using simple "affirmations" -- or descriptive comments if you please. These affirmations will help you personalize what is said. So...

We have discussed a few ofrepparttar 111277 "bad boy" characteristics.

Let's turn our attention to five characteristics ofrepparttar 111278 "good boys." That is, men who are determined *not* to be thought of as "one of those insensitive dads."

CONSIDERATION

Consideration says...

"I adjust my expectations according torepparttar 111279 needs, maturity level and emotional capabilities ofrepparttar 111280 child I am relating to atrepparttar 111281 moment."

Because ofrepparttar 111282 important aspects ofrepparttar 111283 statement you just read, I'm going to repeat it and break it down for you.

Your Child's Most Basic Needs!

Written by Frank W. Thatcher Jr.


Children are supposed to be well-taken care of by adults. They are supposed to have their basic needs met. These includerepparttar need for food, warmth, physical comfort, adequate clothing and a healthy environment. These needs also include their emotional needs, such as comfort, closeness to other human beings, and love.

Unfortunately, due torepparttar 111260 hectic and extremely busy lifestyle we all lead, sometimes we unintentionally neglect some of our children's basic needs which are necessary to facilitate positive growth mentally and physically.

Most of us love and care for our children as we should. We do our best for them by working many hard hours to makerepparttar 111261 money so we can provide as much as possible. However, we must remember to address their most basic needs.

For example, this one very fundamental need is extremely important and very frequently forgotten due to lack of awareness.

This basic need is "water".

Evidence from teachers, school nurses, and school doctors show that many children suffer discomfort such as stomach aches, constipation, poor appetite, frequent bladder infection, and backaches all linked to not drinking enough water.

Children don’t always realize that they are thirsty and in need of water. They do know they feel uncomfortable, unwell, tired, lethargic, and restless which in turn can lead to irritability andrepparttar 111262 inability to focus on tasks assigned by their teachers.

Children at school are expected to concentrate, play well together, share toys, and to follow instructions from their teachers or to sit quietly and listen. A child that is uncomfortable cannot always co-operate and may be labeled as behaving badly or hyperactive when in fact they may just need to drink some water!

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