Ask Right and You May Receive

Written by Rinatta Paries

How easily do you get what you want from others? And how easy is it for you to ask for what you want or need?

Perhaps you haven't worked uprepparttar courage to actually makerepparttar 102001 request you want to make. Or perhaps you've made several requests, but still find your needs unmet. If you're frustrated because you seem to be unable to get what you want and what you ask for, you're not alone.

This happens in all types of relationships, including intimate and dating relationships, family, friendships and work relationships. I'll focus on intimate relationships in this article; however, if you are having a problem getting what you want in any relationship,repparttar 102002 information below will be useful as well.

There are ten tricks to getting what you want in any relationship. But surprisingly, these tricks are not about manipulation. Whenever possible, use these ten tricks to get what you want. The more you practice,repparttar 102003 better you will get at both asking effectively and getting results.

1. It's ok to ask. This isrepparttar 102004 first and most important trick. Understand that you haverepparttar 102005 right to ask for anything you need or want. Whether it be an evening of help with childcare, help withrepparttar 102006 chores, an investment in your personal growth, or a gift you want. Always, always ask for what you want from anyone you want it from.

2. Be prepared to hear a "yes" or a "no." One effective way to ask is to be prepared to hear either a "yes" or a "no." This givesrepparttar 102007 person you are asking a true choice. People likerepparttar 102008 freedom and power of being able to truly choose. Ask this way and you are more likely to hear a "yes."

3. Never make a "no" wrong. If you get a "no" to your request, be gracious. Anything but a gracious reaction will mean you were making a demand instead of a request. Demands are never responded to very well and are always resisted. Make a "no" wrong and you are asking for more "no's." Be gracious, and you will get a "yes" inrepparttar 102009 future.

4. Have an alternative strategy. You haverepparttar 102010 right to make a request andrepparttar 102011 person you are making a request of hasrepparttar 102012 rightrepparttar 102013 say "no." This means, like it or not, you need an alternative strategy for getting what you want. If a person says "no," you can't somehow make him or her do or give you what you want. You may simply need to employ an alternative strategy and take care of your needs yourself.

5. Assume that it would be a "yes" if... Assumerepparttar 102014 person or people you are asking have your best interests in mind. If you get a "no," assumerepparttar 102015 reasons for your request are not clear. Assume that if your reasons were known, your request would be granted. Make your reasons known, gently.

Simplifying Your Existence ... In Search of the Good Life

Written by Edward B. Toupin

I hear many people distress about their need to simplify their lives and "move torepparttar mountains." Their desire is to eliminate all ofrepparttar 102000 things that cause them stress and move into a less hectic, and more gentle, lifestyle. They wantrepparttar 102001 dream of solitude and calm with easy living. However, simplifying your life does not necessarily mean selling everything and moving to a mountain cabin. I've done it, and it's not that easy. It's expensive, alienating, and difficult. Human beings are not meant to live alone; however, sometimes it seems as if that isrepparttar 102002 only way to survive.

When I speak with such individuals, I first ask them what it is that they find hectic and stressful. In most cases, it is not their way of life that is causingrepparttar 102003 problem, but it is how they managerepparttar 102004 many facets of their life. "Moving torepparttar 102005 mountains" is merely running away fromrepparttar 102006 problems that are making life difficult. The most haunting aspect of running is thatrepparttar 102007 problems will follow you regardless of how far "back inrepparttar 102008 woods" you decide to move. The many facets or our lives can been seen as either stressful or as a learning experience and it is important, and beneficial, to resolve and manage them instead of running from them.

--- Why is it so hard? ---

On one extreme, there are people that say that life is beautiful, but they are bitter and unfulfilled. Onrepparttar 102009 other, there are those that despise life as horrid and painful, yet they are content to remain in their situation.

If indeed life were an absolute, everyone would see itrepparttar 102010 same way. However, life is a series of events that occur on a given timeline. We all mask and filter these events, or realities, because of our experiences. Sometimes we're blinded by these filters and cannot move; however, it is how you are able to adjust your view and manage your life that makesrepparttar 102011 difference.

You can either let life run you, or you can run it. It's just that simple. You haverepparttar 102012 power to determinerepparttar 102013 events andrepparttar 102014 opportunity to decide when these events occur. But, to do this, you have to not only figure out what is in your life, but also where you want your life to go. This isrepparttar 102015 first step in simplifying your life.

--- But, if I just dump it all, it all goes away. ---

Yes, if you simplify by eliminating everything in your life then, indeed, all of "those" problems will disappear. However, you will end up with ... nothing ... and an entirely new set of problems to handle. But, inrepparttar 102016 process, what is it that you are getting rid of? Your furniture? A car? Some tools? Your family? No, you are getting rid of "stuff." Stuff consists of things in your life that, at one time or another, meant something to you or represented something. For some reason, now they don't.

Look around at your stuff and determine what it meant to you and why. Then, figure out what changed over your life such thatrepparttar 102017 stuff no longer means anything to you. As you considerrepparttar 102018 changes, think about whether these changes were forrepparttar 102019 good orrepparttar 102020 bad. Did you outgrow these things forrepparttar 102021 better or forrepparttar 102022 worse?

As you ponder, realize thatrepparttar 102023 stuff is not causingrepparttar 102024 problems, but it is your view of your "life" and what "it" means to you. These things are merely representations of something that once was, but no longer is, and now you feelrepparttar 102025 tug of what these items represent. This "tug" usually happens when you have no current direction in your life and are searching for something more, or better, within yourself.

--- But, there's just so much coming at me. ---

Overwhelming sensations are expected in today's world; however, you haverepparttar 102026 ability to control everything that comes at you. The only thing that prevents your control is your ability to comprehendrepparttar 102027 various levels of control you can exert on any given facet of your life.

You have to examine every facet of your life, not justrepparttar 102028 ones that appear to be causing problems. You might find thatrepparttar 102029 ones that appear to be causingrepparttar 102030 greatest problems are not problems at all, but are instead irritated by other gnawing aspects of your life.

Write downrepparttar 102031 single, overwhelming, feeling that you have --- confused, lost, angry, misdirected, intimidated, etc. Then, write down every element of your life that affects you directly and indirectly --- work, marriage, neighbor, expectations, disappointments, successes, past, future, desires, hobbies, kids, friends, etc. For each of those items, write down how you feel about each one listed --- angry, alienated, confused, overwhelmed, etc.

Go through your list several times then sleep on it for a few days. You are slowly definingrepparttar 102032 things that are creatingrepparttar 102033 overall feeling you originally noted. Let it all settle in so that you can think clearerrepparttar 102034 next time that you examinerepparttar 102035 list. Then, as you go throughrepparttar 102036 feelings you defined for each item in your life, determine if there is a common thread that is causing that feeling.

In most situations I've seen, there is one underlying issue that provokes a problem in everything you do. It is not necessarilyrepparttar 102037 various issues, but it is something that you have within yourself that is blocking you or causing several external problems.

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