Are You Trying too Hard to Be Happy?Written by Carna Zacharias-Miller
We all want to be happy. However, if a woman pushes herself to emotional and mental exhaustion in order to reach “perfect” happiness, she could suffer from a condition she probably has never heard of: Missing Mother Syndrome.
When Megan Meadows (not her real name) came to me, she just wanted to lose weight. “Look at me!” she shouted, pinching her thighs. “I am fat! I am ugly! I hate my body!” Well, there was some middle-age spread, but she certainly was a very nice looking woman. Where did all this self-hate come from?
I am a Meridian Therapy practitioner who uses EFT, a form of emotional acupressure, to release negative emotions. Tapping with fingertips on certain energy points on body while being “tuned in” to problem, does stop food cravings. EFT is quite successful when it comes to weight loss. However, I realized that Megan’s real challenges went far deeper than what she perceived right now as her “big” problem. She mentioned that her mom had recently died, and that brought up sad story of her childhood. ”I didn’t have a mother”, Megan said. “She was always gone, and when she was there, she tried to create little girl of her dreams - she did not want me. I was a very lonely child.”
The way I saw it, Megan has been suffering all her life from “Missing Mother Syndrome”.
When Hope Edelman published her book "Motherless Daughters – The Legacy of Loss” in 1994, everyone who belonged to secret sisterhood of women traumatized by early mother loss, had a revelation: That's exactly how I feel - and I am not alone!
Growing up without secure presence of a loving, supportive mother implies much more than lacking a same-sex role model. It is devastating. Since mother is first, basic caretaker, losing her -in a physical or emotional way- starts a nightmare of deprivation for a child. In a way, it never ends. Many negative conditions and feelings experienced later in life may have their roots in this extremely traumatic experience.
Gender Equality In Business: We've Come a Long Way, But We StillWritten by Alvin Apple
The state of gender equality has vastly improved in past few decades. Career, education and business opportunities have really opened up for women, and we are seeing successful females in many different situations. But have we truly reached equality? Even with all improvements made, answer is still, unfortunately, "no."
For every hard-working female executive, there is a working mother who has been passed over for a promotion. For every respected female professor, there is an educated woman somewhere who's knowledge is not being taken seriously. The people who discriminate against these women may not even be conscious of fact that they are doing it. Gender bias is deeply rooted in our collective psyche, but that is no excuse. We must constantly remind ourselves to be aware of how we are perceiving and treating others.
Remember recent furor over Jane Swift, pregnant governor of Massachusetts? Pages and pages of newsprint were devoted to debate on whether or not she could be an effective mother and still run state. This would never have happened to a man, not even a single father.
It is amazing to me that, in this new millennium, such basic gender stereotypes are being perpetuated. Are gender roles so stamped into our brains that we can't conceive of fact that a woman can successfully raise a family while maintaining a high profile career? Mrs. Swift is probably perfectly capable of handling both jobs, or at least of delegating responsibility so that everything is taken care of. Sure she'll be busy, but lots of very busy men manage to make things work every day without ever having their qualifications questioned.