Are You Looking for that Perfect Relationship?

Written by Susan Dunn, Personal and Professional Development Coach


If you ARE looking for that perfect relationship, stop reading this article and do one of two things: (1) Go to one of those websites that promises something like that and be “taken” again, or (2) Brush up on your emotional intelligence skills.

Looking for anything perfect is an unrealistic expectation. Promising that is a ploy people use to sell you things! It’s also a personality trait that will make your life miserable.

Perfectionists expect too much of themselves and others, and though it may be from insecurity, it is perceived as arrogant and unpleasant. The worse thing it does is make you yourself miserable.

Nothing will ever be perfect, including yourself, includingrepparttar other, including your job, your project,repparttar 101604 weather, or your relationships. There will be wonderful moments, and “good enough” moments, but perfection is not an earthly quality! We’re humans!

So, assuming you’re willing to set aside “perfect,” let’s look at what it takes to have a GOOD relationship.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE SKILLS

When someone is talking to me about meeting someone new they’ve been dating online, they sometimes ask, “What should I do? How should I act?” The answer is always, “Just be yourself,” andrepparttar 101605 higher your EQ (emotional intelligence)repparttar 101606 better able you will be to “just be yourself.” Of course everyone puts their best foot forward inrepparttar 101607 early stages, but being ready to date and find a good relationship requires that you know yourself and accept yourself. Self-awareness isrepparttar 101608 cornerstone of emotional intelligence.

Being ready to date means you’ve come to an understanding about past relationships, including relationships with your parents, siblings, and previous partners. Coming to peace with things as they are. Changing what you can change, and learning how to let go ofrepparttar 101609 things you cannot change. Only when you reach this place can you approach each new relationship for what it is – a NEW one. AUTHENTICITY

What we’re looking for in a partner, is authenticity; unlessrepparttar 101610 two of you are authentic – able to be who you are – there can be no meeting of two real people.

You can’t be authentic, if you aren’t perceiving clearly. If you still see in each new person ofrepparttar 101611 opposite sex, traits of your former partner, you can’t be authentically inrepparttar 101612 new relationship because you won’t be reacting to them as they really are.

BEING ADAMANTLY AND RELENTLESSLY SELF-FORGIVING

This is another important EQ competency. It means you have putrepparttar 101613 past behind you and forgiven your former partner(s) AND yourself for past grievances, realizing everyone was doingrepparttar 101614 best they knew how to atrepparttar 101615 time, withrepparttar 101616 limited information they had available atrepparttar 101617 time.

Bear in mind, that forgiving yourself will always berepparttar 101618 hardest thing to do.

I had a coaching client who was having trouble letting go of her former spouse who said, “I can’t forgive him for what I did to him.”

How will you know when you’ve made peace withrepparttar 101619 situation and are ready for a new beginning?

It means you can be around your ex and not react strongly about anything; I mean unlessrepparttar 101620 house is on fire. In other words, they can’t jerk your chain in old ways, or inrepparttar 101621 case of serious grievances, you have been able to let go “well enough”. You can care about them in a general sense and wish them well. “Goodwill,” you might call it. It means knowing that “hating” isrepparttar 101622 same thing as “loving” because they have equal intensity, and until you can move into a neutral space, able to regulate your emotional response to your ex, you are in a trap, and not ready to love someone new.

Dating Russian Women: The Crazy Thing OR A Wonderful Opportunity?

Written by Elena Petrova


Copyright (C) 2004 Elena Petrova

My site is onrepparttar top of many search engines forrepparttar 101603 search query “Russian brides”, and asrepparttar 101604 result I receive lots of requests for interviews from journalists all overrepparttar 101605 world, andrepparttar 101606 question they invariably ask is: “Why western men look for Russian women?”

So let me once and forever explain yourepparttar 101607 reason why thousands western men flock to Russia in search for their love partner.

The answer is benevolently straightforward: they can meet in Russia a partner of better quality than is available for them at home!

They are NOT looking for a *Russian* woman – they are looking for a *better quality* woman!

But why it is possible?

I know what you think: you think it is because Russian women are desperate to escape from Russia.

Well, such thinking is pure ignorance.

Checkrepparttar 101608 websites of American expatriates living in Russia (yes, there is a huge community of Americans permanently living in Russia, with their own newspapers and websites!) and you will confirm what I am saying: women who seek partners abroad do it because they want to meet a suitable partner that they failed to meet at home. They are not looking to immigrate. They are looking to find their love!

Hard to believe? Read on, I will explain.

The fundamental reason for that lies in Russian demographics.

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