Are You Fit To Love?

Written by Allie Ochs


isrepparttar most important question youíll ever ask yourself. Letís face it, our relationships are extremely important. Yet, often they arerepparttar 149204 cause of pain and struggle. Single or not, societal standards convince us that we can have it all. Much ofrepparttar 149205 available relationship advice compels us to go after everything we want. Sadly, for many it is not working. Climbing divorce rates and more singles seeking love are proof that our attitudes are counterproductive.

Our expectations have become highly unrealistic. Rarely do we look inrepparttar 149206 mirror and ask: Am I fit to love? Today's relationships are failing because of deterioration of character. It is time we made a point of building long-term relationship success based onrepparttar 149207 strength of our characters, instead of clever-minded relationship strategies.

Great relationships require great characters. We simply must become better people for each other. Becoming fit to love is a powerful wake-up call forrepparttar 149208 brave. It will dramatically improve our relationships or our chances of finding love.

The happiest people are those in exceptional relationships. They are heavily invested in their most valuable asset: their relationship and have an abundance of lifeís most precious commodity: love. They all have one thing in common: they are fit to love. Atrepparttar 149209 heart of all exceptional relationships are three universal principles: mutual respect, moral responsibility and authenticity and here is what it means:

Mutual Respect: Your partner is just as important as you.

Our partnerís dreams and hopes are as important as our own. This principle requires us to think of our partner as our equal. Given that our generation has made history as ambassadors of our ďme firstĒ society, we are more concerned with getting what we want.

For Bill, everything revolves around golfing. He spends every weekend atrepparttar 149210 golf course while his wife, Jane, looks after their two small children. Extra money from their already tight budget is spent on Billís hobby. Stuck at home with toddlers, Jane has little freedom to do or buy anything special. Despite Janeís complaints Bill seems completely aloof torepparttar 149211 fact that he is disrespectful.

Relationship conflicts arise because of different perspectives. Lovers argue over who is right, instead solvingrepparttar 149212 issue in their mutual best interest. The struggle over unresolved issues leads to resentment even when there is love. Love and respect take a backseat andrepparttar 149213 relationship deteriorates. This dangerous game isrepparttar 149214 reason why many relationships fail, when they shouldnít. Instead of trying to change each other or putting our needs first, we must realize that our partner is just as important. In grabbing hold of our partnerís beliefs we show that we respect our partner. If conflict arises and we cannot agree, we should simply agree to disagree and continue to talk with respect. Without mutual respect, it is impossible to create loving relationships.

Moral Responsibility: You are always morally responsible to those with whom you have relationships.

We live in a society that elevates self-fulfillment above anything else. We seek self-fulfillment at any cost, even atrepparttar 149215 cost of others. Regardless of how often we have heard that we are not responsible for our partnerís happiness, we are still responsible for his or her well-being. Love is a moral responsibility to another person. We blame our partners if things do not work out without looking inrepparttar 149216 mirror to see our own flaws. Yet, everything we think, say or do affects those we love.

Beauty Divine

Written by Advice Diva


The quest for beauty, age defiance and physical enhancement are at an all time high. The beauty industry, comprised of simple salons to mega-corporate giants, pulls in billions of dollars annually. People are obsessed with making themselves beautiful and more attractive for their own personal satisfaction and so others can see them they want to be seen. Not only do people search for ways to enhance themselves, but they also seek beauty and attraction in other things, most notably a dating partner.

Some people might conclude that canvassingrepparttar importance of beauty inrepparttar 148932 dating world is a bit gratuitous. We all know its out there and it can even be considered nature's cruelest form of sexual selection. You either have it or you don't. However, I think it is a poignant topic of consideration whether you are just now enteringrepparttar 148933 dating realm or you have been in it for years and whether you are male or female. Today's society places heavy weight on good looks inrepparttar 148934 work place and in social scenes. You can't escape it and you can not deny it. Amidst growing liberties, democracy,repparttar 148935 abolition of racial and religious oppression andrepparttar 148936 rising demand for an open mind one would naturally assume that our advanced culture would not treat certain individuals better simply because of advantageous genetic facial features. But we all know that this isrepparttar 148937 furthest fromrepparttar 148938 truth. We see it every day.

Doctor Nancy Etcoff, a faculty member of Harvard University and a psychologist at Massachusetts General Hospital, has beautifully illustratedrepparttar 148939 ageless hunt for beauty in her book Survival ofrepparttar 148940 Prettiest. I was enthralled withrepparttar 148941 hundreds of references throughout history Dr. Etcoff found and adapted torepparttar 148942 importance of beauty. One ofrepparttar 148943 most interesting ones involved Eleanor Roosevelt. When asked if she had any regrets she remarked that she only wished she had been prettier. To hear a statement such as this coming from a heroine to women everywhere, it makes one want to examine why and how being beautiful or handsome plays such a dubious role in our every day lives. As Dr. Etcoff examines this very thought further in her book, I think it would be best if we just accept our idealistic qualities and move on to facing them.

When it comes down to selecting new single men and women we choose to date, our very first assessment ofrepparttar 148944 potential mate is based on looks. Most people will say that they are looking for more profound qualities such as character, motivation, sensitivity, a commonality in activities, beliefs and a sense of humor and that looks, although important, are not atrepparttar 148945 top ofrepparttar 148946 list. Of course everyone wants to feel as if he or she had more noble intents in mind. And although this may be true, nature tends to sway our first choice. Psychological tests upon tests show that we all gravitate towardsrepparttar 148947 more attractive person at first. This is not something that we can readily help, nor can we consider it malevolent behavior. It is simply programmed into us from commercials, magazine ads, celebrities and more. It is a learned responsive behavior. While not everyone looks like Naomi Campbell or Brad Pitt and there are only a few genetic anomalies in this world who apparently represent what we all should look like, we can all take steps and measures to improverepparttar 148948 way we look and how we appear to others. It isrepparttar 148949 very first rule in dating!

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