Are You A Victim Of FABS? Part OneWritten by Sibyl Mclendon
Have you heard of FABS? The FABS are quadruplets; they are not identical but they are very, very similar! The FABS are: Fear, Anger, Blame and Shame. This quartet love to arrive, uninvited, at people's houses and literally stay forever. They will certainly stay as long as you allow them to; they never seem to get tired of hanging around and causing troubles for unsuspecting host.The FABS love to attach themselves to abused children, but they really lie in wait for anyone who is vulnerable. Children who have been abused learn early that world is an unsafe place, and that they have no personal power with which to protect themselves. They internalize everything that is done to them, and believe everything that is said to them. This provides a fertile environment for FABS to flourish in. And usually, all of fear, anger, blame and shame is directed squarely at self. The child feels at fault for everything that happens. However, FABS can move in on anyone at any time. When life becomes too stressful or hurtful, then it provides an opening for FABS to move in. Whenever a person feels guilty for their actions then side door opens and FABS can sneak in. FABS live in dark. They tend to hide in dark corners of our minds, avoiding light of day at all costs. If sun were to shine on FABS then it is very likely that host would take immediate steps to eliminate them. It is much easier to lurk in subconscious and just spring out whenever opportunity presents itself. Then FABS kick in and keep host from moving forward in their lives.
| | Are You A Victim Of FABS? Part 2Written by Sibyl McLendon
When you have a case of FABS, it may be hard to eradicate, but it is far from impossible. Fear, Anger, Blame and Shame may be different emotions, but they can all be gotten rid of in same ways:First and foremost, it is very important to learn to LIVE IN THE MOMENT! The past is over and done with, and can never be changed, no matter how much we wish that it could. I remember watching a TV show called Biography, where they were doing life story of a famous TV star. He made comment that he had spent his life always looking behind him, never at where he was or where he was going. He likened it to driving a car but only looking in rear view mirror. If this is what you are doing, it is time to turn your head around and face sun. This crystalline moment in time is only reality that exists, and it is terrible to waste it looking to past. Do whatever you have to do to release past and its hold on you. Second, you must learn that THE ONLY PERSON THAT YOU CAN CHANGE IS YOURSELF! You can spend your entire lifetime wishing that a person would change, wishing that they would treat you better or be loving and supportive, but it ain’t gonna happen just because you want it to. If you were abused as a child, then you may be spending your life trying to ignore it, shoving it down into some dark recess of your psyche. I guarantee you, however, that it is coming out, every minute of every day in ways that you cannot see. Deal with it! Get help, you are going to need it. But you are absolutely, positively going to have to give up hoping that someone will change, or trying to change them. Working on yourself is only answer
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