Are Money Conflicts Ruining Your Relationship?

Written by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.


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Title: Are Money Conflicts Ruining Your Relationship? Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2004 by Margaret Paul URL: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 831 Category: Relationships, Conflict Resolution

Are Money Conflicts Ruining Your Relationship? By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Sam and Rita are multimillionaires. Sam isrepparttar 111046 president of a multinational corporation and Rita stayed home to raise their three children, whom are now all adults. Having reached this place in life, one would think that Sam and Rita would be really enjoying their life and their financial freedom. But this is notrepparttar 111047 case. Sam is constantly anxious about money and even envious toward others who have even more than they have. Sam still tries to control how much money Rita spends, even though they have more money than they could possibly spend duringrepparttar 111048 rest of their lives. The control issues around money cause frequent conflicts between Sam and Rita.

Millie and Harold are also struggling with financial issues. Millie and Harold, while not rich, are financially comfortable. But Millie is constantly worrying that there won’t be enough money, and is often angry with Harold for not making more money. The anxiety and power struggles over money keep Millie and Harold from feeling close and intimate with each other.

Rebecca and Jack are also in conflict over money. Rebecca works hard in her home-based business yet barely brings in enough money to support them and their two children. She is frequently very resentful that Jack, who also has a home-based business, is not motivated to work hard. Rebecca ends up feeling anxious, put-upon and angry inrepparttar 111049 face of Jack’s resistance to working. In fact, Rebecca is thinking of leaving Jack because of her frustration with his lack of motivation. Without him around, she would have fewer mouths to feed.

There are two types of concerns regarding money that cause relationship problems:

1. Actual money concerns, such as in Rebecca’s situation, where there really isn’t enough money and one ofrepparttar 111050 partners is not pulling his or her weight. In this case,repparttar 111051 problem centers around resistance and lack of personal responsibility onrepparttar 111052 part of one partner.

2. Fabricated money concerns, such as with Sam and Rita and Millie and Harold. In these situations,repparttar 111053 anxiety and conflicts are coming from fear that is not based on reality. The obsession with money is causing power struggles and control issues to underminerepparttar 111054 intimacy inrepparttar 111055 relationship. Money is more important than caring.

Jammin' with Your Kids: The Wonderful World of Music

Written by Francie Kelley


Does music need to be “dumbed-down” for kids? The answer became quite clear to me and my husband as we observed how our own child responded to complex melodies and varied musical styles inrepparttar first months of her life. When I embarked onrepparttar 111044 recording of my children’s music CD (“Wake Up & Go To Sleep”, Artsong Music) shortly after my daughter was born, it didn’t occur to me to create a happy little watered down collection of songs made just for young listeners. The songs simply evolved asrepparttar 111045 experiential narrative of a new mom. My husband, jazz guitarist and composer Pat Kelley, arranged and producedrepparttar 111046 CD bringing his rich diverse musical experience into play and givingrepparttar 111047 CD a broad stylistic range. Our daughter Katie seemed delighted byrepparttar 111048 whole project, which took four years to complete. She even contributed song writing and vocal performances. It was only later, whenrepparttar 111049 CD was released and people began to listen, that we discovered how much parents were moved by it. We have received many thanks for creating music that is a pleasure to listen to alone and with children. Children have a more innate ability to absorb music than most adults. At a young age they have minds that are open to everything rather than filled with influences telling them what they should and should not like. Our daughter feels joy listening to Mozart, Hawaiian music, The Beatles, or Glenn Miller. Music only requires an open mind to find enjoyment in its beauty. The earliest experience of music is in a child’s first cry. Crying has tone and isrepparttar 111050 earliest sound that expresses emotion. For many infants,repparttar 111051 next experience of music isrepparttar 111052 intimate songs a mother sings as she rocks and soothes her baby to sleep. Indeed this is a mother’s own sound language that is completely unique to her and her baby. These may be some ofrepparttar 111053 most meaningful and bonding moments ofrepparttar 111054 mother/infant relationship. But where do you go from here? If you begin to expose babies to myriad musical styles, you can witness early responses. Even inrepparttar 111055 early weeks of life, a baby will respond to complex classical works. Our daughter at three weeks old reacted to a Rachmaninoff piano concerto, eyes searching, facial changes pronounced. Clearly these sounds had a dramatic and positive effect. After having been very active kicking and fussing, she became still, seemingly enthralled inrepparttar 111056 music.

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