I have processed about five thousand job applicants in
last two years (that's about 7 per day) and I gotta tell you this - most of them stink !Not literally of course - but when it comes to methods of stupidly & unnecessarily blowing a "no-brainer" interview process to get selected for a "no-brainer" job, then my cleaning agency has just about seen them all !
DO YOU QUALIFY ? I really didn't think we were asking too much. Applicants needed to be able to do housework. They needed a car & a license to drive it. They needed to read, write & speak English. Okay, they also needed a resume, but it didn't have to be full of spectacular cleaning-related careers - any kind of checkable work history was fine.
Likewise,
application procedure was also (we believed) not too demanding. The applicant telephones us. We have a chat to them about
job requirements and ask them if they fit
above qualifications. We ask them to make copies of their resume & references and then we schedule them for an interview in about 3 - 6 days. We interview them for about 40 minutes (though about 30 minutes of that is us doing
talking - a fierce interrogation it ain't). Within a day or two we start giving them cleaning jobs. Fairly simple, we thought.
Unfortunately for my agency's collective sanity, most of
job applicant population saw it differently.
To start with
most basic of errors we encountered, quite a number of people making
initial phone call didn't have a driver's licence, despite our job advertisements clearly stating this requirement. Or if they did have a licence, they didn't have a car. Or if they did have a car, it wasn't actually theirs and they have to share it with several other people. Or if they did actually own
car, it was broken down & was undergoing lengthy and extensive repairs.
Still, this major obstacle was attacked with determination by almost all car-less applicants. It usually went something along
lines of "But my husband can drive me" or "I can take public transport" or "I can ride my bicycle". What a revelation ! Now why didn't WE think of that ? These applicants are sitting there thinking "This employer has only paid out good money to insert 'CAR & LICENSE ESSENTIAL' in huge letters in
job advertisement because I was not around at
time to point out other possibilities"
Hint for jobseekers (1) - If a job advertisement specifies a requirement, and you do not have that requirement, DON'T bother applying for that job, EVEN IF you think you have an alternative that
employer hasn't thought of yet. It's a bit like a prospective surgeon saying that he's hopeless with a scalpel, but is VERY handy with a butter-knife. **** DON'T INTERRUPT Still at
initial phone-call stage, another fundamental error is not allowing
employer to do his spiel. You are not
only person ringing up about
position. You are more likely to be
75th person, so please assume that
employer has his routine all worked out. He does NOT need prompting to fill you in on all
details - he knows what you need to know and he will tell you in his own good time.
The correct time to ask questions is when he finishes explaining what
job is about & what
application procedure is and when he finishes asking YOU questions.
Hint for jobseekers (2) - Let
employer talk. Do not interrupt. Taking over a conversation and putting your potential boss on
back foot is not going make a good impression. **** DON'T GET LOST Okay, so about 25% of people make it through
gruelling 2 minute phone interview and are then scheduled for a "real" interview.
To deal with
simplest situation first, approximately 50% to 80% of these applicants do not show up at
appointed time and are never heard from again. While it's annoying, and as employer I never really get used to
fact that people go to a lot of trouble to apply for jobs they don't actually want, at least that person is out of
way and we can concentrate instead on
serious people.
But it's not that simple. There are a number of variations on
"not showing up" trick that conspire to further annoy & waste
valuable time of
prospective employer.
For example, those people who have had 5 days notice of
interview, but neglect to look up
actual location of
interview until they are hopelessly lost in a neighboring suburb with only 2 minutes to go. They ring up from a phone box asking for directions. They invariably arrive at
interview flustered & late.
Hint for jobseekers (3) - Make sure you know exactly where
interview is being held. If you don't know, do a practise run
day before. **** DON'T BE LATE Even worse than
people who get lost (who at least deserve a tiny amount of sympathy) are those who turn up 20 - 40 minutes late for no apparent good reason. "Oh hi, I'm here for
interview" "Which interview,
3 o'clock or
4 o'clock ?" "The 3 o'clock. I'm a bit late"
This type of applicant doesn't see a problem with being late, probably because it's not a problem for THEM. However an applicant needs to understand that businesses are constantly running to deadlines, and punctuality is vital. If we sit around waiting for a late applicant and start an interview later than planned, it means
NEXT interview is going to be delayed and, more importantly, whatever I had planned for AFTER
interviews is going to be delayed, and possibly even postponed until
next day.
Hint for jobseekers (4). Time is money. Don't be late for an interview. No matter how dazzling you may be in
interview,
main thing
employer will remember
next day is that you were late, and therefore probably unreliable. **** ONLY APPLY ONCE Then there are what we term
"serial-applicants". These people are constantly applying for jobs over an extended period of time, to
extent that they actually apply to us more than once, perhaps several months apart.
Here at
agency, we sometimes collectively shake our heads at
nerve of these people who fail to show up for a scheduled interview, and then a couple of months later apply again, expecting us to welcome them with open arms.