Anger and the American Family: Learn to Respond Rather than React

Written by Dr. Tony Fiore

Case #1. Brianna, 32, would get instantly outraged when her ex-husband threatened to file for custody of their two small children. Deciding to respond differently, she bit her tongue, and remained quiet when he began threatening an escalated legal battle.

Unable to getrepparttar usual reaction from her, he calmed down and instantly became rational and more reasonable.

Case #2. Tom, 42, would become ballistic reacting to his 17 year old daughter who refused to see she was dating a “loser” boy. The more he yelled,repparttar 142921 deeper she dug her heels and refused to give uprepparttar 142922 boy.

Applyingrepparttar 142923 anger management tool of “respond instead of react”, Tom decided to try something different by includingrepparttar 142924 boy intorepparttar 142925 family activities (as much as he could stand). After about three weeks of this,repparttar 142926 daughter—on her own—decided her “prince-charming” wasn’trepparttar 142927 person she needed to enhance her life and endedrepparttar 142928 relationship.

Learn to be flexible

Individuals who practice good health do not continue behavior that doesn’t achieve desired results. Instead, they adjust—or fine tune—their responses depending onrepparttar 142929 situation.

There are many advantages to learning to be more flexible—and “response-able”— in dealing withrepparttar 142930 stresses and frustrations in your life.

Atrepparttar 142931 top ofrepparttar 142932 list is a sense of empowerment. It just feels good to know that you are in charge of your responses, instead of being controlled by other people or circumstances.

Case # 3. Sixty-four year old Lynn left anger management class one night to find her apartment completely flooded due to a burst water pipe.

Adding to her stress, her insurance company initially refused to pay her claim. She later told us, “I decided to userepparttar 142933 tool you taught us of responding instead of reacting, so I cleaned uprepparttar 142934 whole place myself. I can’t tell you how wonderful and liberating it felt to know that I didn’t have to get upset.

Later, calmer, she recontacted her insurance agent who, this time, agreed to honor her claim! Learn to respond differently.

Step 1: Examine your attitude. Negative voices in your head can be quite convincing —persuading you to judge others, be pessimistic, or think negatively, while creatingrepparttar 142935 destructive feelings that go along with destructive thoughts.

Unfit Mothers: A guide to becoming a better mom

Written by Kenia Morales

The other day I was watching Oprah one of my favorite shows for many reasons but, that would be another subject. The topic was unfit mothers. Trust me it was more than evident that some ofrepparttar guests there had some serious issues due torepparttar 142907 amount of abuse or neglect that they place their children in.

However, there is something that really bothered me, they had numerous recordings of women that called saying that they believed they were unfit mothers because they get angry at their children and feel frustrated at times. Was I hearing right? Give me a break? Are moms not supposed to have feelings? Hmmm! Let me see,

•Once in a while when I am about to finish an article my one year old comes withrepparttar 142908 cheesiest smile and turns offrepparttar 142909 computer. Ifrepparttar 142910 article is not saved I lose it completely.

•How about you are trying to think straight and you have a toddler screaming mommy, mommy, mommy, I want juice, a toy, food, etc.

• Have you ever finished cleaning and just when you think you can sit down your child spills something inrepparttar 142911 floor?

•Or my all time favorite when ever I take my girls to a special place. I feel that I will be happy by just seeing them have a good time; and what they do? They spendrepparttar 142912 whole time crying and bickering.

Think again! All these things bother me and I say it even if people nod their heads with disbelief and think “what a terrible mom”.

Moms are humans too you know, we haverepparttar 142913 right to feel tired, angry, happy, excited etc. Unlike those 60’s shows were mom was always available and eager to pleaserepparttar 142914 whole family with a big smile. You want to know what I think? There is no way that a person can focus on everyone else and never do anything to fulfill them selves and be content in life.

So, here isrepparttar 142915 key to being a better mom?

Take care of yourself first! These women that were frustrated are probably too busy trying to be perfect mothers and neglect themselves. Therefore, they probably resent their children and even their partners because they have given up their true identities. Why do I say true identity? Being a mom is only one ofrepparttar 142916 many roles that we play in life. Remember who you were before you had children: your hobbies, aspirations, life motto. Who wasrepparttar 142917 person that your partner felt in love with? Or friends and family once knew? It is not like you are a computer that once you become a mom your whole Identity gets erased and you automatically become super mom.

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