Tom’s reaction? He instantly blew up and berated Jeanette for spending so much money—buying more television than they needed, a bigger model than they had previously looked at together.

Jeanette was dumbfounded at Tom’s reaction; she truly thought this would be a gift that would greatly please him.

Case #2: Jim was having a friendly beer with his brother-in-law Jack when discussion turned to Jack’s success in life. Wanting to compliment him, Jim commented on how far he had come, how proud of himself he must be and how much he is an inspiration to others, given his background with alcoholic and dysfunctional parents.

Rather than seeing this as a compliment, however, Jack became offended and angry. He berated Jim for “putting him down," as he interpreted Jim’s comment.

Views cause anger

As these examples clearly show, people are not disturbed by things or events, but by their view of them, as Epictetusan—a Greek philosopher—observed early in 2nd century.

When an upsetting family event occurs, you have a choice of how you are going to explain it to yourself—what you are going to tell yourself about it. This will influence how angry, stressed, or upset, you become over event.

Learning to change what you tell yourself —your self-talk— can break cycle of negativity that can often poison our minds when we get angry. We all have 'scripts' in our minds that tell us messages and stories about family members and how they behave.

Tom, who exploded when his loving wife bought him a new television, was telling himself things like: she has such poor judgment-buying a bigger TV than we need; there she goes again, spending money excessively; why can’t she ever do what I want her to do? Why did I marry such a woman?

Is coaching just a buzzword to capture another niche market of those seeking instant gratification and on spot success?

Let’s take a look at good fitness coach. He gets into your mind and pinpoints what motivates you and which exercises you enjoy. He designs a program with your physical condition and goals in mind. Your fitness coach teaches you how to properly use equipment and reach your target. He is right at your side helping you to get most out of your workout. He challenges you to reach your goals and believes that you can do it. He is always a step ahead of you and more interested in your success than you. Most people go to gym hoping to get results on their own. For many it is not until they get a coach that positive changes start to happen.

Relationship coaching for singles or couples is no different. Most singles plough through smorgasbord of hyped dating avenues hoping to find their one-and-only. Couples in unhappy relationships try to solve conflicts on their own, wait for a miracle or leave. Reportedly, those who reach out to a coach have made remarkable progress in relative short time spans. Coaching has become a source of real help for real people in real world.

Just like in case of Celine Dion, a relationship coach unleashes best of you. Whether you are in a relationship or single, a coach knows that you have everything inside to realize your relationship potential. Relationship/dating coaching is not a long, drawn-out process. People have achieved success in as little as 4-6 sessions. The focus of coaching is in on moving forward from where you.