Anger and Your Health: How Your Outlook Influences Health and Your Ability to Control Anger

Written by Dr. Tony Fiore


The situation: Jane and Anthony have differing ways of viewingrepparttar world. Jane is a pessimist (the glass is half-empty), while Anthony is an optimist (the glass is half-full). These outlooks influence how they experience similar situations.

Scene 1: Job loss. Jane is devastated, convincing herself that she is all washed up, she can never catch a break, it is useless for her to try to be successful, and she is never going to succeed at anything.

Anthony, however, has a healthier inner dialogue. He tells himself he may not have been good at that particular job, his skills and his company’s needs did not mesh and being fired was only a temporary setback in his career.

Scene 2: New jobs. Offered a new job, Jane,repparttar 130133 pessimist, believes she was able to find a new job only because her industry is now really desperate for people and must have lowered their standards to hire her.

Anthony, however, feels he landedrepparttar 130134 new job because his talents were finally recognized and he will now be appreciated for what he can do.

As these examples illustrate, optimists tend to interpret their troubles as transient, controllable and specific to situations. Recent research by Dr. Martin Seligman confirms this.

When good things happen, optimists believerepparttar 130135 causes are permanent, resulting from traits and abilities. Optimists further believe that good events will enhance everything they do.

Pessimists, onrepparttar 130136 other hand, believe their troubles will last forever, will undermine everything they do, and are basically beyond their control. When good things happen to pessimists, they see them as temporary and caused by specific factors that will eventually change and lead to negative outcomes.

Optimism creates better resistance to depression when bad events strike, better performance at work and better physical health.

In fact, one long term study atrepparttar 130137 Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN, found that optimists lived 19% longer than pessimists.

The High Costs of Anger (Part 2)

Written by Dr. Tony Fiore


‘Dr. Fiore,’repparttar voice onrepparttar 130131 phone pleaded, ‘I need anger management classes right away. I blew up at my girlfriend last night and she said it’s over until I get help.’

As Kevin recountedrepparttar 130132 first night of class, he and his girlfriend had argued inrepparttar 130133 car over which route to take home from a party. Events progressed from mild irritation, to yelling and name calling.

Things escalated at home. He tried to escape, but she followed him from room to room, demanding resolution ofrepparttar 130134 conflict. He became angry, defensive and intimidating.

Frightened, she left. Later, she left an anguished message saying that she loved him, but couldn’t deal with his angry, hurtful outbursts.

Kevin said that he normally is a very ‘nice’ and friendly person. But on this occasion, his girlfriend had been drinking beforerepparttar 130135 party. In his view, she was irrational and non-stop in criticism. He tried to reason with her, but it just made things worse. Finally, as Kevin saw things, in desperation he ‘lost it’ and became enraged.

How should Kevin have handled this situation? What could he have done differently? What actions should you take in similar situations?

Option 1: Time out. Take a 20 minute time-out (but commit to returning later to work onrepparttar 130136 issue). Take a walk. Calm yourself down. Breathe deeply. Meditate. Do something else for awhile.

New research by John Gottman, Ph.D., atrepparttar 130137 University of Washington indicates that when you and your partner argue, your pulse rate goes above 100 beats per minute, and you enter a physiological state called DPA (diffuse physiological arousal). Once there, it becomes nearly impossible to solverepparttar 130138 problem. You lose perspective. Your reasoning ability, memory and judgment greatly decline.

Taking a time-out allows both of you to return to your normal state of mind.

It is neither healthy nor necessary for you to explode as a result of being provoked by your partner. Our recommendation: Turnrepparttar 130139 heat down rather than intensifyrepparttar 130140 pressure.

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