Allow Yourself To Be HappyWritten by Gordon Bryan
People often ask me explain my statements, and title of this article usually has people forcefully telling me that it’s ‘the others’ that won’t stop them from being happy.Er, wrong. In fact, it *is* usually ourselves that stop us from being happy. Society and education gears us to expect life to be a slog, many decades of working in a job we don’t like, with reward of, oh, let’s say a white picket fence to go with your borderline pension. This kind of mental conditioning leaves us more often than not, spending 50% of our time worrying about yesterday, and day before, and day before that. The other 50%? We spend other 50% worrying about tomorrow, next day, and day after that!! That’s a whole lot of time spent worrying about past and/or future. So much time in fact, that we have precious little time left to think about, let alone *enjoy* present. As you read this, stop for a second, and look around. Really, take time to absorb moment. The past is gone, future hasn’t happened, but present is here!
| | The Pressure of Their WorldWritten by Nancy R. Fenn
Parents who have introverted children wonder how to help them build a positive self image. We understand today that Introversion is a legitimate personality type. But not too long ago, introverts were labeled as “neurotic” or “loners”. Introverted children can be misunderstood at school and with relatives. It is our loving job as parents to advocate for our introverted children. But first we must understand and support their needs ourselves.I recently interviewed Susan Harbison, an introvert and mother of one year old Emma Kate, also an introvert. Listen as Susan describes her experiences with her daughter. Notice Emma Kate’s introverted characteristics. Already at one year old, she is territorial, intense, has ability to focus and concentrate, gravitates away from people and things and is not always “friendly” by extrovert definitions. Susan Harbison begins speaking about herself and her daughter, Emma Kate. “As an introvert it is a delicate and thorny blessing to witness new life process of my tiny daughter, an introvert as well. It is delicate when I smoothly do right thing, easily solve problem or brilliantly stop tantrum because I understand her so well. “It is thorny when I say ‘she is an introvert’ and people shush me quickly saying ‘you don't know that yet...maybe she's just taking it all in and she'll be life of party when she grows up.’ “I did not know that what I am, what I identify with in my own child, is something to be avoided. The more people make excuses for Emma Kate’s intensity, more I am offended for myself. Like her, I was never mean-spirited or spoiled, loud or obnoxious, grasping or needy ... and like her I was pitied. People held out hope that I would some day be nothing like myself and everything more like them…. “For some perverse reason, human beings are attracted to someone that won’t pay attention to them. This poses a problem for my one-year-old daughter who can entertain herself and like most introverts, gravitates away from people and things. Emma Kate is a magnet for people who want to pick her up and have that attention for themselves. The minute they get it, they put her down somewhere else because they have lost interest.
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