I outline 7 kinds of affairs in my E-book, "Break Free From Affair." One affair, "I Can't Say NO!" is characterized by addictive tendencies. Infidelity (as well as pornography, strip clubs, online chatting, compulsive masturbation, etc.) may be a part of sexual addiction.
Often spouse or partner of a sexually addicted person intuitively knows of addiction and struggle his/her partner has with behavior.
The partner often "feels for" his/her partner and is in a great quandary about staying in marriage or leaving marriage.
If you are a person facing this dilemma or know of someone who is, here are some pointed questions to help move more quickly through decision making process:
1. Do you really want to save marriage or are you just plain worn out? Does it seem that it would be much easier to just put up and tolerate crazy kind of behavior you bump into with him? Are you emotionally fried and think of confronting him with your feelings and thoughts of ending marriage as jumping into more emotional turmoil?
2. Do you really want to save marriage or do you think you should hang in there for religious, moral or other “should” reasons? Most spouses who partner with those who can’t say no are very conscientious people. Is that you? Do you want to do right thing? Are you willing to continue feeling humiliation and facing dangers because you believe you should stay in marriage? Do convictions rather than practical and personal concerns dictate your decisions?
3. Do you really want to save marriage or do you believe you should stay to protect children? Do you think you are only spouse who can care for children? (You may be.) Or maybe your spouse cares deeply for children and is a good parent. (That may be also.) Do you think that ending marriage would make life immeasurably worse for your children? Do you fear for their welfare if you confront his behavior?
4. Do you really want to save marriage or do you see absolutely no way out and are resigned to this marriage? You may experience a powerful pervasive feeling of being stuck. You may believe that you have tried everything and that it is in best interest of everyone to stay where you are. Couple your weariness with your sense of being stuck and you may tolerate a great deal of disappointment and pain for sake of marriage.