by Doug C. Grant

"Sailing pretty high today, are we?"

It was another i-mail from Other-Self. An interruption as usual.

I was reading a generously kind e-mail from a reader when i-mail arrived, internally of course. And I knew that to ignore it would only increase frequency and nagging of future i-mails.

So I answered. "If you mean by ‛sailing high' that I'm enjoying these few kind words sent by a reader then you're right. Does that offend you?"

"Not at all. I merely wanted to point out that success is not success in one or two areas of life. That is hardly any success at all."

"You want more success? Well let me remind you that I enjoy a strong marriage, exercise three times a week, have a successful business and go to church...at least sometimes. I believe that even you will have to admit that I'm relatively well-rounded."

From somewhere down below came a snort. "I might agree with you if I wasn't looking at this layer of fat plastered around your waist. You may exercise your body but you certainly don't exercise discretion over your diet. I don't call that success.

"As for your social life, you have a number of acquaintances but no real friends. No success there. And only time you conduct a meaningful discussion with God is when things are on slide. Even then, only reason for doing so is to dump on Him. Hardly a successful spiritual walk."

"Oh come now! I'm not super-human. Maybe a few areas of my life could do with a bit of sprucing up. But all in all I consider myself well-rounded and successful."

"That's absolute foolishness. You will never be more successful than least of your achievements. Allow me to illustrate. Your car has six cylinders and therefore six spark-plugs. If only three spark-plugs were firing, would you say you had a successful engine?"

There are many barriers to living our lives way that we would really like. Child abuse, alcoholism, grief, poverty, and like all take their toll. Yet, from deep within us we hear a cry - a cry for more; for something inspiring.

Living an inspiring life is not just for some people. It's for all of us. We can all live our lives more fully and do more of what we want. You might think that you're too busy, don't have enough money, or don't know what you want, and while that's all understandable it need not get in your way.

We need to begin by listening to our internal cry. What is it telling us? What do we need? What is missing in our lives. And, once we know that, we need to find ways to live our dreams.

James Hillman, in his book The Soul's Code (Random House, NY, 1996), says that answers to who we are and what we want can be found in our childhood musings. He says,

"Sooner or later something seems to call us into a particular path. You may remember this "something" as a signal moment in childhood when an urge out of nowhere, a fascination, a peculiar turn of events struck like an annunciation: This is what I must do, this is what I've got to have. This is who I am...If not this vivid or sure, call may have been more like gentle pushings in stream in which you drifted unknowingly to a particular spot on bank."

Hillman believes that in order to uncover what gives us meaning or pleasure (what he calls our calling) we need to remember what fascinated us, grabbed our attention, or spoke to us as children. He believes those memories even if they are only tiny glimmers or flashes of our desires hide our deeper longings to be or to do something.

To use this method, you might want to think about yourself as a child. What did you dream about? What did you like to play? What were your fantasies and dreams?

While it may not be clear to you what any of it means. Those memories or dreams may hold something you need to know about yourself. You might want to spend some time writing about it.

Dr. John Suler, who teaches at Ryder University, designed an exercise for his students called The Therapeutic Ingredients of Vision Quest that can help with this. A full description of this exercise can be found here http://www.rider.edu/users/suler/vquest.html

I found Vision Quest to be very helpful in awakening my deeper wisdom and awareness of synchronicity.

Suler's steps for Vision Quest are as follows:

1. For a period of at least 4 hours, leave your room or home and go out somewhere, anywhere. Don't plan ahead as to where you will go or what you will do. Don't do anything in particular (e.g., don't go bowling, to movies, to visit friends, etc.) Just go where your instincts tell you to go. Let your "intuition" carry you. Just wander (of course, don't do anything dangerous).

Do this alone. This is very important! If you meet people you know, you may talk to them for a few minutes, but no longer than that. Continue on your way.