The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as
author resource box at end is included. Notification of publication would be appreciated.Title: Welcoming our Wounded Selves Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2003 by Margaret Paul Web Address: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 526 Category: Emotional Healing
WELCOMING OUR WOUNDED SELVES By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
"I just want to get rid of part of me that gets angry so easily."
"I hate part of me that thinks about food all time."
"I just want to kill part of me that is so needy."
For last 35 years I have been counseling individuals, couples, families and business partners and have authored eight published books. In course of my work, I often hear people I counsel wanting to get rid of their wounded aspects. This would be like attempting to kill off a child who is having problems. This would, of course, cause child many more problems.
Instead, we need to learn to welcome, embrace, love and explore with many wounded parts of ourselves. These parts exist due to false beliefs that we have from our childhood experiences. These parts heal with love and truth, not with being disowned.
One day, when I was walking and talking with my inner guidance, I asked about my own wounded, disowned aspects. "There is really only one disowned aspect that all other aspects come from. This aspect is victim. The victim is like mothership from which all other wounded aspects emerge."
"Me? A victim?" I was a triffle miffed. I did not see myself as a victim. "Of course," said my guidance. "How can anyone grow up in your society and not believe you are a victim? Everyone has had many experiences in childhood of feeling victimized. The beliefs regarding being a victim are in very young child within. Until beliefs within this wounded inner child are healed, you are being governed by them, even though you may not be aware of it. No one wants to feel like victim, so all protections are to have control over not feeling like a victim. All anger, blame, withdrawal, denial, defensiveness, resistance, caretaking and so on are to have control over not being controlled. All addictions are to not feel feelings of helplessness and aloneness that come from feeling like a victim. Embrace part of you that believes you are a victim and you will find yourself able to embrace all feelings and behavior that come from belief that you are a victim. Who do you know who never thinks that their feelings or behavior is not caused by someone else, or by events, or by God? Who do you know who takes full responsibility for all their feelings and behavior, especially in their relationships?"
