Have you ever sat in a meeting where everyone is busy giving their point of view and trying to prove why they are right? Where no one is actually listening or trying to understand other individuals’ points of view. The alternative meeting format is where everyone listens to and agrees with
meeting leader. No one contributes or adds ideas, they are just compliant.In my experience most meeting are either one or
other. But when you think about it, what is
point of most meetings? Meetings are usually held to make decisions. The outcome that most people would want from
meeting is that
BEST decision is made, not that any decision is made, or another sub-committee is formed but that a decision that delivers results is made. Then we move on.
So as we hustle from meeting to meeting being very busy, achieving nothing in
way of measurable results, we land up with yet another sub-committee. All because we have lost
art of dialogue. So,
question is; what is
difference between dialogue and discussion?
DISCUSSION – Discussion is
way that most people communicate. During discussion we present our ideas and everyone analyzes and dissects them from their different points of view. The purpose of discussion, though, it to make sure you win, or that your point of view is
one that is accepted. During
discussion you will support your idea and give your points more strongly until, eventually, others agree with you. You want to prove that you are right, and
most knowledgeable, as does everyone else in
discussion. Great! With everyone trying to win
argument, no decision is ever made and we eventually need to form a sub-committee to decide. Or
CEO, or team leader, uses his or her divine autocratic right and decides for
team.
DIALOGUE – Dialogue on
other hand is an exploration of ideas. It is not a new form of communication but is
way
ancient Greeks and many so called ‘primitive’ societies are seen to explore ideas. During dialogue everyone works together contributing towards
idea. Remember
team is greater than
sum of
parts; therefore more is achieved from
dialogue as each person’s ideas add to
last. In a dialogue no one is trying to win. They are trying to learn and create. They suspend their individual assumptions and explore ideas and issues. It is a free flow of ideas where participants continue to think and watch themselves think. The great physicists Heisenberg, Pauli, Einstein and Bohr described
conversations they had with each other. As we know from history their conversations (dialogue) changed traditional physics because what they could achieve as a group exceeded what each could do as individuals. Interesting? So who is ‘primitive’ now?