Acceptance Can Attract Positives

Written by Monique Rider


“Since we cannot change reality, let us changerepparttar eyes which see reality”. Mikos Kazantzakis

Oh, how we all try to control or change what happens in our lives. Never quite accepting life for what is has to offer. Acceptance has been a hard lesson for me to learn, as I expect it has been for others as well. Can you imaginerepparttar 102060 time, effort and energy involved in constantly fighting your circumstances? Wishing things were different, thinking negative thoughts, worrying, controlling, manipulating, becoming angry and bitter. These are all negative emotions that cause anxiety, fear, fatigue, illness – and they just plain drain us! Instead of US controlling our circumstances, our circumstances end up controlling US. It’s a bit of a paradox, but if it is peace, serenity, and well being that you desire –repparttar 102061 above behaviors and emotions won’t get you there! Actually, they will only attract more negativity.

I have faced many struggles and each time I thought if I worried enough, obsessed enough, did this or that, I could get this wicked “problem” under control and shove it out of my life for good. That way my life could be perfect, with no issues. Well isn’t that a prime example of ego at its best! All I got in return were sleepless nights, medical problems, tears, and frustration. Plus, my negativity attracted more ofrepparttar 102062 same problems.

My “problems” included being involved in an abusive marriage at age 16, no high school diploma, no work skills, no drivers license. Then my problems included a divorce afterrepparttar 102063 eight-year abusive marriage, single parenthood for six years, financial and career issues, family issues, spiritual issues……………………..

I construed all ofrepparttar 102064 above as “problems” when in reality they were growth opportunities. Apparently I needed that growth but I was so busy feeling sorry for myself that I didn’t seerepparttar 102065 positives. I also didn’t see that I had many choices and some ofrepparttar 102066 things that were happening to me could have been avoided, had I made different choices.

Doesn’t it seem likerepparttar 102067 more you focus on an issue –repparttar 102068 bigger it gets,repparttar 102069 worse it gets, andrepparttar 102070 more of it you get? Doesn’t it also seem like sometimes we continue to be faced with adversity until we “get” whatever lesson we are supposed to learn. I guess I just wasn’t “getting it” because I had one problem after another. And since I kept focusing on them, worrying, and trying to change them –repparttar 102071 more I attracted. I became angry, bitter, and felt like a victim. At some point I realized that I needed to ACCEPT life and not fight it so hard. Life is not only made up of good times but also struggles and adversity. We are all responsible for our own feelings, actions and choices. I was making things ten times worse for myself by refusing to seerepparttar 102072 positives, resistingrepparttar 102073 lessons, and viewing life unrealistically. The world is not and should not be perfect. I found that by failing to accept life’s challenges, I was failing to accept life itself.

Now by “accept” I don’t mean you must become a victim, tolerate injustice, or allow yourself to be taken advantage of. I don’t mean that you refuse to voice your needs, concerns and values. Accepting life’s challenges means humility; letting go of ego, control and worry. Stop trying to fix everything in order to make it perfect. It means admitting there are lessons to be learned, changes to make, and growth that needs to take place. It means focusing onrepparttar 102074 positives and changing your perspective. Once I realized that, amazing things began to happen – bitterness subsided, anger was handled in a more effective way, I began to make better choices, and gracefully accepted adversity. That doesn’t mean I liked it, wanted it, or jumped for joy when it happened. However, I tried to see it differently, not be intimidated by it, and not fear it. If you can give “it” a face, a name, or a shape it can be molded into whatever you want it to be. That’s when it becomes not so scary and maybe even a little bit positive.

A new career will change who you are

Written by Cathy Goodwin, PhD

I hear from many people who feel trapped in a career after fifteen or twenty happy, productive years. It's been a good ride, they say, but now it's time to jump offrepparttar train. They want to fulfill a creative dream, recover from burnout or just try something new. The old challenge is now a "been there, done that."

If you can relate to that description, you probably recognize that midlife career change is both easier and harder than starting out inrepparttar 102059 world of work. Change is easier because you have resources to greaserepparttar 102060 rails. You have savings, equity in your house, and a retirement fund. More important, you have acquired skills, contacts and networks. You may be able to userepparttar 102061 resources of your current employer to develop new skills.

Onrepparttar 102062 other hand, change is hard because you have invested in your career identity. In my relocation book, Makingrepparttar 102063 Big Move (New Harbinger 1999), I emphasize that moving is stressful because identity is interrupted. The change is equally stressful when you relocate your career.

Often people focus onrepparttar 102064 skills and activities they want to incorporate into their new careers, but ignorerepparttar 102065 impact on identity. Yet I have seen people falter and give up on new careers because they were uncomfortable withrepparttar 102066 new way they had to define themselves. Just saying, "I am…" creates a new reality.

Atrepparttar 102067 same time, once you begin to acquire a new identity, you increase your risk. It will be more difficult to return to a former career or job once you have begun to enjoy a new identity. And your former colleagues will see you differently.

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