A roommate story too strange to make up

Written by dan the roommate man

So it's my fifth (and final) year of undrgrad and I am planning on getting my own place; but right before that happens I get an opportunity to rent a house for a total of $750 month, and this includes utilities. Well, no shit, I'm going to go for it. All I have to do is find two roommates. Well I met some dude (we will refer to him as CrazyBones) in a classrepparttar semester before. He seemed a little off, but overall we got along and we had been in touch that summer and coincidently he needed a place to stay and he had met someone (we will call him DnD for Drunk and Desperate) who needed a place to stay and this set up worked well atrepparttar 118093 time.

Less than a week intorepparttar 118094 semester, CrazyBones decides that he doesn't need to go to class anymore. So this, along withrepparttar 118095 fact he doesn't have a job, provided ample free time for him to sit around in sweat pants and be an all around scrub. As a few weeks went by I could just tell by some small actions and a glint he had in his eye something was definitely not right in this guy's brain. But I'll sparerepparttar 118096 small details and go straight torepparttar 118097 shit.

So it all starts one night when we threw a party. Everything is going fine until about 11pm when one of my buddies says that CrazyBones just ran halfrepparttar 118098 party out because he yelled at whoever was in earshot that they were all essentially worthless because they weren't paying attention to his crappy attempt a freestyle rapping (mind you he is 6,4 250 or so lbs and a goony looking white guy). I took this with a grain of salt and continued having a good time until about 4am when some dude comes intorepparttar 118099 basement all bloody and says I need to take CrazyBones torepparttar 118100 hospital. oh, shit.....Well apparentlyrepparttar 118101 two had gotten in a massive fight in CrazyBones' room and there was blood everywhere and a window was broken and his hand was sliced up pretty bad. So I drive him torepparttar 118102 hospital and I wait inrepparttar 118103 lobby as he is being attended to. And after about an hour he comes out having stole a bunch ofrepparttar 118104 hospitals crap saying they were taking too long and he was going to deal with it himself. He disappearedrepparttar 118105 next morning and eventually subsided a few days later fixed up. I don't know and don't want to.

Maybe a week or so after that I come downstairs to find allrepparttar 118106 furniture we had had (which was mostly his) he moved torepparttar 118107 basement, where he set up shop and reversedrepparttar 118108 lock so only he could get in. At this time he is hanging around some pretty shady people (he always did, but these were even worse) going in and out ofrepparttar 118109 house. All he is doing is hanging out inrepparttar 118110 basement and maybe he would run an errand or two duringrepparttar 118111 week. Mind you he isn't going to class and has no job. And there are empty bottles of prescription pills everywhere.


Written by Victoria Elizabeth

Copyright Victoria Elizabeth 2005.


-- Or, how to improve one's vapid vocabulary --

Inrepparttar fast-food, fast-track, and fast-lane of life, there’s precious little time for words any more which is bad news for slow-of-mind folk (like me).

I have no “to-do” list and I don’t own a “Blackberry”. Furthermore, I have no need for “power naps” and I don't do “power lunches” (unless I'm wearing my tiara, holding my sceptre and handing out titles to members ofrepparttar 118092 realm who probably don't need them).

Alright, I must confess I do own a cell phone. But, I don’t know how to programrepparttar 118093 blessed thing with all my favorite telephone buddies. And, what makes matter worse, I haven’t got a clue aboutrepparttar 118094 hottest dating device known (to men and women naturally) -- text-messaging.

So, how does one go about choosing mischievous mind candy (you know,repparttar 118095 sweet, sticky stuff that ticklesrepparttar 118096 imagination and adds a few more calories and carbohydrates to one's already hyperactive cerebellum)?

Well, take a word like “slob” for instance. It’s a short, four-letter word that covers a multitude of sins, (also a four-letter word that leavesrepparttar 118097 drawbridge down andrepparttar 118098 door wide open for interpretation).

Anyway, “slob” lacks shall we say colourful vibrations. In fact, one could say it probably leaves bothrepparttar 118099 user andrepparttar 118100 recipient in an indubitably bleak state of mind followed closely behind by a complete loss of libido.

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