Less than a week into semester, CrazyBones decides that he doesn't need to go to class anymore. So this, along with fact he doesn't have a job, provided ample free time for him to sit around in sweat pants and be an all around scrub. As a few weeks went by I could just tell by some small actions and a glint he had in his eye something was definitely not right in this guy's brain. But I'll spare small details and go straight to shit.

So it all starts one night when we threw a party. Everything is going fine until about 11pm when one of my buddies says that CrazyBones just ran half party out because he yelled at whoever was in earshot that they were all essentially worthless because they weren't paying attention to his crappy attempt a freestyle rapping (mind you he is 6,4 250 or so lbs and a goony looking white guy). I took this with a grain of salt and continued having a good time until about 4am when some dude comes into basement all bloody and says I need to take CrazyBones to hospital. oh, shit.....Well apparently two had gotten in a massive fight in CrazyBones' room and there was blood everywhere and a window was broken and his hand was sliced up pretty bad. So I drive him to hospital and I wait in lobby as he is being attended to. And after about an hour he comes out having stole a bunch of hospitals crap saying they were taking too long and he was going to deal with it himself. He disappeared next morning and eventually subsided a few days later fixed up. I don't know and don't want to.

THE MERITS OF MISCHIEVOUS MIND-CANDY

-- Or, how to improve one's vapid vocabulary --

In fast-food, fast-track, and fast-lane of life, there’s precious little time for words any more which is bad news for slow-of-mind folk (like me).

I have no “to-do” list and I don’t own a “Blackberry”. Furthermore, I have no need for “power naps” and I don't do “power lunches” (unless I'm wearing my tiara, holding my sceptre and handing out titles to members of realm who probably don't need them).

Alright, I must confess I do own a cell phone. But, I don’t know how to program blessed thing with all my favorite telephone buddies. And, what makes matter worse, I haven’t got a clue about hottest dating device known (to men and women naturally) -- text-messaging.

So, how does one go about choosing mischievous mind candy (you know, sweet, sticky stuff that tickles imagination and adds a few more calories and carbohydrates to one's already hyperactive cerebellum)?

Well, take a word like “slob” for instance. It’s a short, four-letter word that covers a multitude of sins, (also a four-letter word that leaves drawbridge down and door wide open for interpretation).