As I reflected on all work she'd done and subsequent progress she'd made over past year, it made me realize that real change in our lives usually doesn't happen quickly (unless you consider a year to be "quick").

She came into my life wanting to create more balance in her life, "get out of ruts," become more adventurous and create a brighter financial picture.

We began meeting each week. Initially, she was a classic multi-tasking, work-all-day, priority-list-checking, baby boomer who - at end of a long, productive day - found herself saying simply:

"So what. I got everything done on my list, but so what. Is this it?"

Yes, she got a lot done. And like many of us, there was a deeper, wiser part of her who knew life is not *just* about doing.

It's also about be-ing.

I wondered what she was be-ing . . .

as she went about her days . . .

do-ing . . .

do-ing . . .

do-ing . . .

and still more do-ing.

As our work progressed, we discovered what WAS behind all her doing. We found out what she was BE-ING behind all her doing.

Here's what it was.

In a word.

Survival.

Like so many of us, as a young child she learned a belief that said "I'm not good enough." And to be "good enough," to get by in life, to SURVIVE, she decided she had to DO all stuff she was doing. I say she "decided," but reality is she wasn't even aware she'd made that decision.

Her life was driven by shoulds.

Her life was driven by survival.

I remember a comment she made to me once. She said:

"Anyway, some how I ended up with extremely high standards for myself that I don't seem to live up to."

As you read these words, it may seem as though she was somewhat dysfunctional. In fact, she wasn't. At all.

She was quite successful. She was (and is) a wonderful mother, a successful small business owner, very well read, self-aware, incredibly bright and pleasant.

Her life was full - too full.

Yet her heart was empty - yearning for more of richness of life. Yearning to express fullness and depth of who she really was.

Who she really was (is) . . .

Having gotten to bottom of her survival-based patterns, we turned our attention to just that - truth of who she really was.

We began this part of our work around 5th week of our journey together. To do this, we started by looking at times in her life when she felt most alive and most in love with life. We looked at what she was doing during those times.

More importantly, we looked at what she was being. We peeled back layers of doing, in search of just right words to capture passion, joy and lust for life, which had become shrouded by years being not good enough.

If you remember this Bible story, you know that God had just previously - over a seven day period - created entire universe. Everything. Including man, who was created on sixth day.

At end of sixth day, God gazed upon all that had been created and deemed it ALL to be simply and completely . . .

V-E-R-Y G-O-O-D.

All was well in Garden until that one fateful moment, when, in an instant, mankind stepped out of it's blissful state of paradise into a world split down middle. At one end lie "goodness." At other end lie "evil-ness."

SIDEBAR: This is a bit confusing. Didn't God say everything was very good? How could there even be "evil" at this point? And if there was "evil," wouldn't God have created that? And if God did create it, wouldn't it also be "very good" just like everything else? Back to our story . . .

How did split between good and evil occur? Simple. Mankind chose, against God's better advice, to eat fruit from "Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil."

Said another way, mankind chose to know "good" and "evil." Mankind chose to put itself in a place of judgment between what was good and what was not good.

Most of us make that choice - choice to know "good" and "bad" each and every day.

Each day, we're choosing to know good and evil or good and bad. And each time we make that choice, we step out of bliss and paradise.

Judgment itself is not good or bad. It just is. It serves a useful purpose in society as it's currently structured. But if you want to get back to bliss and paradise, it can serve as quite an obstacle.

So what does all this have to do with you and your life?

Stick with me here.

I have a client in London who buys run-down houses, fixes them up and sells them for more than she paid for them. She literally causes value of property to appreciate (important word).