The effects of recent enlargement in divorce rates are negative effects. Divorced children are more probably to get pregnant as teenagers, drop out of high school, abuse drugs and have aggressively emotional and behavioral problems, which lead to social problems. Some children decide to go out of their home when their parents separate each other, and subsequently they become homeless children. They do not have good opportunities to find a job due to shortage of education. Consequently, crime may likely be
end result. As parent, one of your top priorities is to reduce this negative effect and help your children have positive divorce adjustment. Here are 10 things you should do to promote positive divorce child adjustment.
1. Do encourage your children to talk about how they feel.
The sure way to help your children adjust to divorce is for you to know what they feel. So let your children know that they can openly talk to you about their feelings of your separation or divorce. Keep lines of communication open and answer all questions about changes. Make sure your children feels like they can ask you questions and get answers about why divorce happened and what to expect.
2. Reassure children that everything will be ok but just different.
Children are invariably frightened and confused by divorce. Provide extra hugs and kisses and tell your child that you and other adults will always be near to love and protect.
3. Do stay involve in your children's life.
Custodial and non-custodial parent should stay involve in their children's life. Children may interpret lack of involvement as rejection. Often, they think parent who is not involved in their life loves them less. If your children are to adjust well to your divorce, nurturing parent-child relationship is paramount. Spend special time with your children, have fun together and continually express your love for your children.
4. Do keep your ex-spouse from becoming an ex-parent.
Many non-custodial parents, who typically are fathers, fail to stay involved with their children after divorce. This is unfortunate as children's adjustment is enhanced by a positive, active relationship with both parents.
If you are custodial parent, you should encourage involvement of non-custodial parent even though it takes extra effort if a lot of anger is still present. It is a time when you must separate your spousal relationship from your parenting relationship. This is hard, but it is possible. You must try not to "direct" your spouse's parenting patterns and concentrate your efforts on smoothing access.
5. Do not argue with your ex-spouse in front of your child.
Children exposed to conflict are more likely to have behavioral and emotional disturbances, suffer social and interpersonal problems, and show impairment in their thought and reasoning processes. Experts say amount of conflict child witnesses during and immediately after divorce is a crucial factor in his or her adjustment.
When parents show better emotional adjustment after divorce, so do children. Children show much less anxiety, insecurity and distress when parents are able to argue in a proper manner, reach an agreement, and stick to compromise.
6. Do keep routines consistent as much as possible.
