Some things are as boring as dust that clings to your TV screen.
Take toothpaste, for example. If you happen to be a radical mint enthusiast, brushing your teeth might be highlight of your day. You might have shiniest teeth in town. You might not want to interrupt your brushing for dinner ... unless menu includes mint jelly pâté.
I remember one of my favorite comic strips, when Adam was trying so hard to diet. Of course, my memory is fading faster than my jeans, but here is roughly how it went:
FRAME ONE: Adam is sneaking back into bed, when his wife asks if he had been snacking.
FRAME TWO: She gives him a passionate kiss ... or at least as passionate as a two-dimensional, black and white cartoon character can give.
FRAME THREE: No. All "fresh and minty", she concludes.
FRAME FOUR: Adam thinks to himself: "Should be. I ate three tubes of toothpaste."
For those of us who use toothpaste for brushing, it is at best bearable. There is obviously collusion at highest levels of mint flavor industry to squash our democratic right to a full range of toothpaste flavors.
But what if Big Mint stranglehold could be broken? What if brushing our teeth could become a custom-designed exhilaration? What if toothpaste came in as many flavors as, say, jelly beans?
We recently tried some new jelly bean flavors on our wedding anniversary. (Oh, come on. What could be more romantic than a romp through jelly bean dispensers?)
The strawberry daiquiri jelly beans tasted delicious. So did strawberry cheesecake ones. The buttered popcorn ones were so-so, but caramel popcorn jelly beans were oh-so yummy.
We tried chocolate fudge flavor and chocolate pudding flavor, but we passed over chocolate covered grasshopper flavor.
They had three kinds of melon, four flavors of apple and three different toffee flavored jelly beans. But toothpaste comes in just mint. Do I hear you say, "Conspiracy theory"?