A SHORTAGE OF PUCKS N' PRANKS... Or, where have all April Fools’ Day greeting cards gone?

It’s always been a mystery to me why I can never find April Fools’ Day cards in stores. There's a paucity of Pucks not to mention pranks if ever there was one!

Who says loons and buffoons don’t deserve their own card? Why has Hallmark, (who keep us chortling on birthdays and holidays), forgotten to commemorate this rather fine occasion with a card?

Perhaps by encouraging “Inner Fool” in all of us to come out and play …card companies think all hell will break loose, sky will fall on them, or even scarier …they’ll be sued up ying-yang by an emperor without any clothes on.

The origin of April Fools’ Day dates back more than five hundred years, to some powerful potentates in Europe who wanted a new calendar. Or, maybe it had something to do with Fickle Finger of Fate’s bad hair day!

Truth is, people got bored in good old days. Let’s face it bread and circus performances were wearing a tad thin. And cooling one’s heels on a street corner in hope of meeting a guy named “Godot” wasn’t all that much fun either.

IT’S ADDLEPATED APRIL AGAIN! -- Or, time for feather-brained folk to have some fun! --

**Compiled by Leady Beatrice Blitterlees and edited by Lord Earl Craboon

April is one of those months that most pithy people would rather forget. After all, it’s only month that starts off on a “foolish footing”.

The good news is that fops, (who more often than not put their foot in their mouths as opposed to someone else’s), have only one day a year to celebrate folly of mankind.

The bad news is that anyone who adores linear thinking will be in for a rough ride this month.

Soothsayers usually have fun with April because they often predict that sky will fall without warning, (or at a minimum rain cats and dogs).

As if that’s not enough, some bloke with precious little to do decided it was high time to turn all clocks backwards (for Daylight Savings Time).

So, if you’re looking for an excuse to engage in a bit of eclectic entertainment, you hit right month of quintessentially quirky things to do.

APRIL CALENDAR OF COCKAMAMIE CAPERS & ODD OCCASIONS

1.APRIL FOOLS’ DAY (Toss your troubles away, don your dunce cap, and let your “Inner Fool” loose at 1st Annual Feast of Fools to be held in your city)

2. NO-NO DAY (Yippy, haul out all those tacky tank-tops and tasteless t-shirts hiding in your closet from your last trip through Tunnel of Love or to Jungle Gym playground)

3. COCKAMAMIE CLOCK APPRECIATION DAY (Okay, all you daring digital dweebs get to run around place and change every frigging clock forward one hour)

4. GET-A-LIFE-DAY (Time to listen/watch your favorite guilt-inducing motivational music tape guaranteed to cure couch potatoes, sensitive sloths and desperate housewives)

5.WIGGLE YOUR NOSE & WOBBLE WALK RECOGNITION DAY (Use these valuable interpersonal skills before someone else really important discovers them)

6.ADDLEHEAD APPRECIATION DAY – (Who says being a confused, witless, feather-brained foghorn doesn’t make a vital contribution to world of wonk?)

7.HOKEY-POKEY DANCE DAY (Thank goodness there’s a festive occasion for pugilistic people with two left feet and a third eye in middle of their foreheads)

8.LOOSE LIP APPRECIATION DAY (Time to tell a humongous yet harmless hoodwinking tale about an affable “Velcrow Vixen" or Vlad Impaler” you once knew)

9.DUMB QUESTIONS DAY (Love those ice-breakers like: “My boomerang won’t come back, have you seen it? Or, can you tell me what flavor of toothpaste dogs like?”)

10.CUP OF CROCK DAY (Name best source of “hornswaggle” in your town)

11.AGELAST AWARENESS DAY (Time to recognize those sad sacks in your life who never fail to laugh last, or ones who couldn’t laugh if their life depended on it)

12.SNAPPING FINGER DAY (This is time well-spent on honing fine art of getting prompt attention from people called door-openers, head-waiters, and valets)

13.CUT & PASTE DAY (Bring all your funky flyers, a sharp pair of scissors, and a big pot of glue to work today; it’s quirky cut-and-paste collage time again, yippee!!)