Written by Samantha Tooting-Beck

Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005.

A SHORTAGE OF PUCKS N' PRANKS... Or, where have allrepparttar April Fools’ Day greeting cards gone?

It’s always been a mystery to me why I can never find April Fools’ Day cards in stores. There's a paucity of Pucks not to mention pranks if ever there was one!

Who says loons and buffoons don’t deserve their own card? Why has Hallmark, (who keep us chortling on birthdays and holidays), forgotten to commemorate this rather fine occasion with a card?

Perhaps by encouragingrepparttar 118066 “Inner Fool” in all of us to come out and play …card companies think all hell will break loose,repparttar 118067 sky will fall on them, or even scarier …they’ll be sued uprepparttar 118068 ying-yang by an emperor without any clothes on.

The origin of April Fools’ Day dates back more than five hundred years, to some powerful potentates in Europe who wanted a new calendar. Or, maybe it had something to do withrepparttar 118069 Fickle Finger of Fate’s bad hair day!

Truth is, people got bored inrepparttar 118070 good old days. Let’s face it bread and circus performances were wearing a tad thin. And cooling one’s heels on a street corner inrepparttar 118071 hope of meeting a guy named “Godot” wasn’t all that much fun either.

Change is always hard …especially if some poor fish wants to keeprepparttar 118072 old calendar festive occasions, while new kids onrepparttar 118073 block want to muck up everything. Not surprisingly, chaos ensued. (You know …the typical right hand not knowing whatrepparttar 118074 left hand is doing,repparttar 118075 usual foot inrepparttar 118076 mouth games, not to mentionrepparttar 118077 odd tongue-in-cheek was bound to drive most clodplates, cretins and cullies crazy.)


Written by Beatrice Blitterless & Earl Craboon

Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005.

IT’S ADDLEPATED APRIL AGAIN! -- Or, time for feather-brained folk to have some fun! --

**Compiled by Leady Beatrice Blitterlees and edited by Lord Earl Craboon

April is one of those months that most pithy people would rather forget. After all, it’srepparttar only month that starts off on a “foolish footing”.

The good news is that fops, (who more often than not put their foot in their mouths as opposed to someone else’s), have only one day a year to celebraterepparttar 118065 folly of mankind.

The bad news is that anyone who adores linear thinking will be in for a rough ride this month.

Soothsayers usually have fun with April because they often predict thatrepparttar 118066 sky will fall without warning, (or at a minimum rain cats and dogs).

As if that’s not enough, some bloke with precious little to do decided it was high time to turn all clocks backwards (for Daylight Savings Time).

So, if you’re looking for an excuse to engage in a bit of eclectic entertainment, you hitrepparttar 118067 right month of quintessentially quirky things to do.


1.APRIL FOOLS’ DAY (Toss your troubles away, don your dunce cap, and let your “Inner Fool” loose atrepparttar 118068 1st Annual Feast of Fools to be held in your city)

2. NO-NO DAY (Yippy, haul out all those tacky tank-tops and tasteless t-shirts hiding in your closet from your last trip throughrepparttar 118069 Tunnel of Love or torepparttar 118070 Jungle Gym playground)

3. COCKAMAMIE CLOCK APPRECIATION DAY (Okay, all you daring digital dweebs get to run aroundrepparttar 118071 place and change every frigging clock forward one hour)

4. GET-A-LIFE-DAY (Time to listen/watch your favorite guilt-inducing motivational music tape guaranteed to cure couch potatoes, sensitive sloths and desperate housewives)

5.WIGGLE YOUR NOSE & WOBBLE WALK RECOGNITION DAY (Use these valuable interpersonal skills before someone else really important discovers them)

6.ADDLEHEAD APPRECIATION DAY – (Who says being a confused, witless, feather-brained foghorn doesn’t make a vital contribution torepparttar 118072 world of wonk?)

7.HOKEY-POKEY DANCE DAY (Thank goodness there’s a festive occasion for pugilistic people with two left feet and a third eye inrepparttar 118073 middle of their foreheads)

8.LOOSE LIP APPRECIATION DAY (Time to tell a humongous yet harmless hoodwinking tale about an affable “Velcrow Vixen" or Vladrepparttar 118074 Impaler” you once knew)

9.DUMB QUESTIONS DAY (Love those ice-breakers like: “My boomerang won’t come back, have you seen it? Or, can you tell me what flavor of toothpaste dogs like?”)

10.CUP OF CROCK DAY (Namerepparttar 118075 best source of “hornswaggle” in your town)

11.AGELAST AWARENESS DAY (Time to recognize those sad sacks in your life who never fail to laugh last, orrepparttar 118076 ones who couldn’t laugh if their life depended on it)

12.SNAPPING FINGER DAY (This is time well-spent on honingrepparttar 118077 fine art of getting prompt attention from people called door-openers, head-waiters, and valets)

13.CUT & PASTE DAY (Bring all your funky flyers, a sharp pair of scissors, and a big pot of glue to work today; it’s quirky cut-and-paste collage time again, yippee!!)

14.OPENING PANDORA’S BOX DAY (Warning: Wearing protective devices is probably wise move, especially if you haven’t seenrepparttar 118078 contents ofrepparttar 118079 blessed box lately)

Cont'd on page 2 ==>
ImproveHomeLife.com © 2005
Terms of Use