The first thing required for successful communication - be it in sales or something else - is to find a common interest. Success is achieved when two individuals agree they have same goal and are discussing which of them is going to do what in order for them to reach their common goal faster, easier and with greater certainty.
If person you are talking with feels, even slightly, that he has been cheated or that you took advantage of him - by him being your means to reaching your goals - he folds from game. Often, this other person could be a customer who feels your greatest desire is selling your product - without considering whether that product will meet his needs or desires.
If you don't first harmonize, by finding a common interest, you end up creating a situation wherein each party is engulfed in defending their interests: one is proving why something is good and beneficial to other and other is defending himself by proving why that same thing is of no use to him and doesn't suit his needs.
By doing this, you presume:
1) You will convince other party to accept your truth, or worse ...
2) You can make other party feel so "good" about purchase that they will be back to buy more from you!
This is often impossible. Sure, your prospects may actually buy, sometimes - but this doesn't come even close to securing a long-term relationship with them and ensure they will repeatedly purchase from you.
The solution is somewhere else, and a very simple one at that: once you discover common goals you and your prospect share (such as ensuring greater success for your prospect's company), you help him realize those goals.
Mr. Ron is a sports shoe importer. He was always having problems negotiating with his suppliers. Then he changed something. Before he sat down at table again to negotiate with his supplier, he said:
"Look, we all have same goal - getting your top-notch sport shoes to public. Let's not waste time arguing and fighting over petty issues. Why don't we imagine there's a customer standing here in front of us right now. Let's all put our suggestions on table and discuss how each one of us can help make this customer's decision easier and faster and what we can do to make him want to return more often and buy more of your shoes from me."
Just saying these few sentences placed him and his supplier on equal and common ground to negotiate. A few days later, he sent me a note saying this was best and fastest deal he ever made. And it was so simple ...
>> How an Importer Cultivates Loyalty From His Customers – Even When »The Competion Offers Higher Percentages«