A Little Girl With A Big QuestionWritten by Valerie Zilinsky
A few nights back, I was enjoying nightly ritual of combing out my daughter's long hair after her bath. She always engages me in thought-provoking conversations during this time. It's become a special bonding session for us each evening, even if it's just to go over new experiences she's had that day.This time, though, she caught me off guard. My darling daughter, who won't even be five years old until next week, asked famous question, "Mom, where do babies come from?" I immediately started to respond, "Well, honey, when a man and a woman love each other, their love can make a baby...." At this point, she quickly interrupted me..."No, mom, I mean, how does baby get inside mommy's tummy?" That was all it took for me. Ten years of reading parenting magazines and advice books continuously, and I had forgotten everything I ever read on proper response to this line of questioning. My chin dropped to my chest, and my mind was blank. Luckily, I realized that I had to recover from my momentary brain-freeze, and come up with some sort of answer. My daughter isn't type to let something go unanswered. To buy myself some time, I told her it wasn't easy to explain, and I'd look for a book that we could read together. This seemed to satisfy her for time being. Now, with a few days to get back to her, I can help other parents avoid being caught in same situation. I'm sure I am not only parent unprepared to have this conversation with a child this young. So what's best approach, according to 'experts'? Regarding best time to start talking about sex with your child, Planned Parenthood says, "It's best to start as soon as children begin getting sexual messages. And they start getting them as soon as they're born. But don't worry if you haven't started yet. It's never too late. Just don't try to "catch up" all at once. The most important thing is to be open and available whenever a child wants to talk. The rest will take care of itself." (How to Talk With Your Child About Sexuality: A Parent's Guide) According to Pandorah Turner of www.RaisingKids.tv, "Your 5-year-old daughter may be happy with simple answer that babies come from a seed that grows in a special place inside mother. Dad helps when his seed combines with mom's seed, which causes baby to start to grow" (Article: Talking To Your Daughter About The Birds & The Bees). To me, that seems like a very comfortable way to answer her question. However, it scares me to think what she might ask next! Many experts state that you should only offer information that your young children ask for. If you get too involved beyond their specific questions, most likely they won't retain what you tell them. There is nothing wrong with admitting to your child that you don't know answer to their question. Instead of possibly providing incorrect information, offer to look up answers and get back to them, but make sure that you follow through. Be sure to use correct terminology when answering questions, especially when referring to anatomy. If words make you uncomfortable, practice saying them when you are alone, before you try using them in conversations with your child.
| | A Parental Game Of ChessWritten by Valerie Zilinsky
On a recent winter day, our son came home from school proclaiming a new-found love of game of Chess. We were pleasantly surprised, as my husband has been trying to persuade him to try it for six years now. It seems that all it took was knowledge that his classmates liked to play, and all of a sudden, he has dreams of being a master of game.As a parent, we encounter this over and over throughout our children's' lives. We try to be role model, setting a good example, leading them in direction we'd like them to go. But our little darlings usually have other plans. And that usually consists of whatever their peers are doing at moment. When new behavior is a positive thing, like playing a game of Chess, we can enjoy watching our children pursue new hobby. But, we must always be on alert for other habits that come from outside influences. For example, another recent habit that my son came home from school with is a heavy dose of sarcasm. He isn't getting it from someone in our home, so it's safe to assume that someone in his class might be giving lessons during recess. If I have my way, whoever it is will soon have one less student to teach. No matter how frustrating it gets to watch our children model themselves after their friends instead of their parents, we will continue to set a good example for them.
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