A Lesson From Stuffed Cabbage

Written by Helaine Iris


A Lesson From Stuffed Cabbage Helaine Iris © 2003

“One pound of learning requires ten pounds of common sense to apply it” Persian proverb

I just returned from a wonderful week of rejuvenating vacation that included a visit to my parent’s home. In their guest room, where I sleep, is a large picture of my dear and departed red headed, Jewish grandmother.

Early one morning, as I was waking from sleep my thoughts drifted to her and I began to think aboutrepparttar tremendous impact she had in my life.

It was easy to recall some of my fondest childhood memories were times I spent with her. My favorite time was in her kitchen. I would drag a chair acrossrepparttar 123514 floor to be as close to her as possible. Fromrepparttar 123515 view at her elbow I watched her cook with intensity and devotion putting her heart and whole self into it. She prided herself on not using recipes as she produced her famous, nurturing culinary creations.

It was much more than stuffed cabbage and sponge cake. She was not just feeding bodies; she was conveying a deep sense of connection to something bigger than herself;repparttar 123516 love she had for her family. This is what she passed along to me, and fed me,repparttar 123517 valuable gift of connection.

Connection is one ofrepparttar 123518 elements that creates a meaningful context for my life. It keeps me related and involved. It helps me feel a part something bigger than myself rather than separate and isolated. Also, by experiencing connection it helps me define who I am as an individual, another important element for my wholeness. Finally, connection offers merepparttar 123519 opportunity to notice and celebrate unity rather than difference.

Experience Your Life ... The tough spots make the easy parts better!

Written by Edward B. Toupin


We all run into hard times, or challenges, as we head down our paths through life. However, some of us seem to get stuck in what appears to be a continuous cycle of 'bad luck.' This cycle slams us down and forces us to battle ghosts, or old problems, in an attempt to free ourselves to move forward in life again. Good luck, bad luck, no luck. It's all a function of our own desires and motivation.

This situation has been quite common with so many people I've seen and in some of my clients. People tend to get lose momentum in challenging times and eventually spiral into a hole from which they feel that they cannot escape. After some time, they begin feel secure withrepparttar situation, give up, and acceptrepparttar 123513 problems without question.

---Living in a Hole---

Challenging times can shove you face first down a bottomless pit, if you let them. You try to fight and scratch your way out to find that, there is no way out. However, considerrepparttar 123514 situation. Is it easier to climb back outrepparttar 123515 way you fell in or should you look for another way out?

Realize that, as long as you try to go back outrepparttar 123516 way you fell intorepparttar 123517 hole, you will remain inrepparttar 123518 hole. For some reason,repparttar 123519 path you were on lead you torepparttar 123520 situation, so why continue on that path, in either direction. If you're onrepparttar 123521 wall of this hole, trying to climb up and out, you risk being hit by everything that falls into that hole after you. Eventually, you're knocked offrepparttar 123522 wall to, once again, fall torepparttar 123523 bottom where you either have to try to climb out again or just give up and take things as they come.

When you run into such a situation, you have to find a different path or solution thanrepparttar 123524 one that got you there. You have to analyze where you are, how you got there, and where you want to be. Once you are confident about your analysis, make a plan on how to move forward toward your vision.

---Battling Ghosts---

Once you beat a challenging situation, you will feel an intense feeling of success. You have beatenrepparttar 123525 unbeatable, and wonrepparttar 123526 unwinnable. However,repparttar 123527 trick is that, now that you're onrepparttar 123528 other side ofrepparttar 123529 challenge, your life is now different. You have to determinerepparttar 123530 best way to restart your life because you've lived in and focused on beatingrepparttar 123531 situation.

Moving forward in life after winning against a challenge is not always a simple task. It's not so muchrepparttar 123532 fact that you got out ofrepparttar 123533 situation. It'srepparttar 123534 possibility of sinking back into, or creating, a similar situation because ofrepparttar 123535 'comfort zone' you developed in this situation. Many times, once you're atrepparttar 123536 end of a challenge, you can find yourself folding back into a similar situation because it is comfortable, similar, and provides that feeling of success.

When life began issuing challenges to me, I had no idea how to deal with them. I would fight, scratch, kick, and scream to straighten it all back out so that life would return to its previous state. I eventually became so used to fighting to 'survive' that I began slamming every nail withrepparttar 123537 same sledgehammer. Since I knew this approach always worked, I would use it for every circumstance that I encountered. I began to realize that it wasn't so muchrepparttar 123538 fact that I was fighting to get out of problems, but I found a successful way to win against every problem that came at me. So, to ensure that I always felt successful, I began to find problems at which I could wield my mighty sledgehammer. Instead of moving forward in life toward my goals, I continually found problems that I could beat to achieve immediate satisfaction.

The one thing I realized after a while was that, life could never be what it was. It cannot be as it was one minute or one decade ago, because it is constantly changing and we are constantly growing. When you experience a change or a trauma, life changes. It will never be as it was ... life changes! Life changes through knowledge, through experience, through maturity, and through life itself. I found that fighting to maintain life as it was merely wasted time fighting forrepparttar 123539 past when in fact I should have been fighting forrepparttar 123540 future. I needed to focus on obtaining where I was going instead of where I had been.

---Checking outrepparttar 123541 Other Side---

Once I learned how to cope with traumatic experiences, instead of sitting and waiting, I became curious as to what would happen onrepparttar 123542 other side. I wanted to learn what I could while, atrepparttar 123543 same time, plan for a way to get past it and move on to other items that are more beneficial.

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