A Lawyers Favorite Lawyer Jokes

Written by Richard A. Chapo

Lawyer Jokes

Q: How does a pregnant woman know she is carrying a future lawyer?

A: She has an extreme craving for baloney.

Q: What isrepparttar legal definition of “Appeal”?

A: Something a person slips on in a grocery store.

Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

A: To practice.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 12?

A: Your Honor.

Q: What’srepparttar 149654 difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

A: The lawyer charges more.

Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

A: The caterer.

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

A: If one side has one,repparttar 149655 other side has to get one.

Q: What do you get when you crossrepparttar 149656 Godfather with a lawyer?

A: An offer you can't understand.

Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?

A: Senator

Q: Did you hear they just released a new Barbie doll called "Divorced Barbie"?

A: It comes with half of Ken's things and alimony.

Q: What'srepparttar 149657 difference between an attorney and a pit bull?

A: Jewelry.

Q: What'srepparttar 149658 definition of mixed emotions?

A: Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.

Little Guy on Wheels

Written by Janette Blackwell

Mamma was a strong believer in heredity, and she believed our family’s German heritage predisposed us to two things: hard work and stubbornness. The gene for hard work lay pretty low in us kids while we were growing up, but stubbornness kicked in fast.

So one might say that what happened one summer evening inrepparttar late 1940s was all our ancestors' doing.

Daddy was getting ready to go to a church board meeting. Four-year-old Davie wanted to go torepparttar 148911 board meeting too. (Right fromrepparttar 148912 start, Davie liked to go places, while Mamma, Daddy, and I liked to stay places.) We explained that board meetings were for grownups only. He still wanted to go. We explained that board meetings were for board members only. He still wanted to go. We all stood aroundrepparttar 148913 bedroom, while Daddy knotted his tie and combed his hair, and we took turns explaining what a miserable time Davie would have at a board meeting. By that timerepparttar 148914 conversation was getting heated and tears were beginning to flow, but also by that time Daddy was ready to leave and it was time to leave, so he left.

I watchedrepparttar 148915 cloud of dust asrepparttar 148916 little black Chevy coupe sped uprepparttar 148917 hill next to our Montana farmhouse. And then I noticed atrepparttar 148918 rear ofrepparttar 148919 dust cloud a tiny figure. Davie on his tricycle was bravely pedaling after. Clearly he intended to tricyclerepparttar 148920 five miles torepparttar 148921 board meeting.

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