A Georgia Superhero!

Written by Ed Williams


One thing Iíve loved since I was a little boy were superheroes. Believe me, I read so many Superman and Batman comic books when I was a kid that itís not even funny. I loved their varied super powers, and how they constantly got out of scrapes that would have destroyed any normal man. I was so into them that I also became big fans ofrepparttar Flash, Spiderman,repparttar 145344 Fantastic Four,repparttar 145345 Green Lantern, and several others. Iím also quite excited that thereís a new Batman movie out, Batman Begins, and its early reviews are outstanding! To say that Iíll see it more than once is an understatement,repparttar 145346 Batman character is terrifically fascinating, and I hope thisíll berepparttar 145347 start of a whole new string of Batman films.

All that having been said, Iíve started wondering if I could create a superhero. A superhero whoís different, a Southern superhero, and more specifically, a Georgia superhero. A superhero that we Georgians can claim as one of our own. And, if I think really hard about it, if I think of allrepparttar 145348 unique things that Georgia has to offer, and if I think aboutrepparttar 145349 kind of superhero that would excite me enough to go out and buy a comic book, one potential superhero fitsrepparttar 145350 bill. Readers of this column, yíall are about to berepparttar 145351 first people ever to hear about our newest superhero, yes, our first ever Georgia superhero - ladies and gentlemen, let me proudly introduce you to....

Red Clay Man!

Yes, thatís right, Red Clay Man! Faster than a man whoís just eaten a large helping of aged jalapenos! More powerful than a Okefenokee gator in heat! Able to leap tall fire ant mounds in a single bound!

IsnĎt herepparttar 145352 most? And donít laugh, Red Clay Man is endowed with powers far different than that ofrepparttar 145353 average superhero. All Red Clay Man has to do to get ready for some crime fighting is to go out into rural Georgia and fill up his Crackerjack Back Pack with handfuls of red clay. Armed with one of our most precious natural substances, he can go out and fight crime like no oneĎs business! Just think of it - a criminal holds up a bank in Metter and decides to drive out inrepparttar 145354 country to countrepparttar 145355 loot. He pulls over on some little back road somewhere and starts counting. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a big glob of red clay hits him smack betweenrepparttar 145356 eyes! Heís blinded! And, if he happens to haverepparttar 145357 presence of mind to try and run away, well, two globs of wet red clay splash down onrepparttar 145358 ground right in front of him, causing him to slip and fall. At that point, Red Clay Man slaps his kudzu cuffs onrepparttar 145359 evildoer and renders justice to him, Georgia style!

Hand me my Thongs!

Written by Thck Mick


When I was a fart, thongs were somewhat different to what they are now.

As I understood it, thongs were made of steel, cast iron and brass. I remember using my neighbours thongs on a regular basis, to put coal intorepparttar fire. I also remember usingrepparttar 145158 very same thongs to put ice into vodkas and other beverages, excluding hot whiskeys.

Now if I'm to believerepparttar 145159 younger generations, then thongs are now used to re-arrangerepparttar 145160 genitals within various garments. I don't know what they are made from but would suspect that cast iron would harldy be comfortable, whatever about suitable. Brass thongs would be a bit onrepparttar 145161 cold side, I'd say. (I had a scratching experience once, but will live withrepparttar 145162 itch from then, on). I don't even know why genital arrangement is so important. And I can't even understand why thongs have become such a fashion statement, whatever that is.

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