1. Author Bio This is no place for modesty. You're competing with many other authors out there and need to show how your hot and worth it. Remember to include your accomplishments and give a little background information. Often readers want to know about author's interests..

2. A photo This is optional, but if you want to get your face out there, this could help. Keep in mind that not every editor will use your photo.

“Dear Columnist,

Recently word ‘butt’ was used in one of your columns. That word is inappropriate, in poor taste, crude, and offensive. The fact that it is used on tv does not change a thing. I appreciate your being able and interested in writing and would like for it to be above reproach.

Best to you.

Ward Cleaver”

She wants to know what I think of it, and what would be most appropriate way to respond.

As I sit here pondering her request, full range of potential responses seems to be these:

1. The immature response. This is one you’d go with if you fired back an immediate, gut check-like response. You’d tell guy that he should find some “Barney” reruns to spend his time watching and then imply that he must be a real firecracker in most other aspects of his personal life. You’d then close it out with a reminder that this is a free country and that he was free (and encouraged) to read something other than your column in future.

2. The sarcastic approach. Tell reader that you’ll try to do better in future, and that slip up in column is easily explainable. Then, go into how you and your friends went out drinking night before, entered a “Who Can Cuss The Best” contest at a local bar, and that carry over from that slipped into your column when you wrote it next day. Promise your reader that it’ll never happen again, as you definitely want to live your life “above reproach,” and then swear to watch twenty episodes of “The Brady Bunch” as penance.